Heartache
by emiz.12
Summary: Mason survived the experience in Spokane. Dimitri is extremely concerned for Rose and is becoming overprotective. Rose doesn't really know what to do, think, or feel about it all.
1. Chapter 1

What an idiot. Mason needed to stay outside where it was safe, not inside, worrying about me. I swear, if both of us survive, I'll kill him.

He charged toward Isaiah, only to be caught. The Strigoi smirked, placing his hands on either side of Mason's face. I flinched, realizing what he was about to do. I couldn't let him do that. I let out a sob in hopes that it would distract Isaiah long enough for Mason to get out of his grasp.

And it worked.

Isaiah looked at me, amused at how my emotions weren't in check. "What's the problem, Rosemarie?" I held back another sob and glared at him. He laughed. "You're a horrible actress." He strode toward me, keeping that stupid smirk on his face. Only…he never got close enough.

There was a loud crash and he suddenly stopped to see what it was. Still aware that Elena, throwing a tantrum or not, was still nearby and she happened to be hungry—or thirsty. I refused to look away. So, I was pretty surprised to see a huge ball of water floating toward Isaiah and then engulfing his head. He angrily clawed at the water and his cries were muffled, but the water just stayed there. It wouldn't kill him, but it sure as hell was a great distraction.

Mason was able to get past the both of them, but I turned my attention to Elena. She was livid and was quickly approaching me. Honestly, the last time I faced a Strigoi, I was, for lack of a better word, owned and ended up in the infirmary. That memory didn't exactly give me courage, however. I decided to follow one of Dimitri's first lessons: Run.

I dodged Elena's attack by diving to the side. I scrambled to my feet and began running in the—what I thought and hoped to be—direction of the door. Unfortunately, I ran into someone. I then felt a random impact against my cheek.

"Oh! Sorry, Rose..." Mason muttered.

I shrugged. "'S okay. But what the hell are you doing?"

"Swords," he replied as he glanced up.

I followed his gaze and immediately smiled. "Awesome. Now distract them while I get the swords."

He about argued, but Elena's shrill scream forced him to agree and run off in a random direction.

I began reaching for the swords that were mounted above the fireplace. The lack of success made me wish that I was Dimitri's freakish height for the time being.

Dimitri.

If only I had respected his wish and hadn't told Mason the information on Strigoi and Spokane. The information that he found me responsible enough to know and not share with anyone. The information that had Mason and I fighting for our lives at the moment, along with three others, in a random house in probably the most boring city on the face of this planet. If I lived through this, I knew that I'd be facing some more arguing with Dimitri.

I was suddenly motivated to at least get some proud response out of him.

After a few more tries, I managed to knock both swords down to the floor. I quickly got a hold on one of them and began scanning the room for the chance to eliminate at least Isaiah while Mia, who was standing in direct sunlight, still had enough energy to keep him preoccupied with the water sphere.

As soon as I approached the elder Strigoi, I swung the sword like I thought they did in the movies and whatnot. Sure, I hit my target—Isaiah's neck—but the first swing wasn't enough. I noticed this when I heard his gurgled scream through the water. I swung again…and again…and again until his head rolled off his shoulders, his body collapse, and water cascaded to the floor. And, as many times as I had seen movies where someone was decapitated, it was nothing like witnessing—and causing—it first hand. Beheading suddenly became my least favorite way to kill Strigoi…but it was the only way I could at the time.

I glanced toward the doorway to thank Mia, but she had disappeared. She was probably outside, safe in the sunlight once more. I wasn't the religious type, but I silently thanked whoever was listening that she was out of harm's way.

There was a pained grunt, followed by a loud thud. I turned in the direction of the noise just in time to see Mason slide down the wall and to the floor. Elena hovered over him, ready to have Mason as a snack. She was murmuring something to him, but none of the words registered. His eyes were glazed over and what little movement he made was weak. I must have gasped or something because Elena suddenly turned her attention to me. She snarled, fangs bared. Her eyes narrowed. "On second thought, I'll spare you a moment and deal with your girlfriend."

I felt a pang of guilt at the mentioning of the word 'girlfriend.' I had only used Mason to try and get over whatever feelings I still had for Dimitri. I failed, nonetheless. I still felt strongly for my mentor and I was pretty sure that that wouldn't be changing any time soon. No matter how little I wanted to feel that way.

Despite the battle of emotions I was going through, I kept a straight face and raised the sword up, ready for her attack.

She charged, only running into the blade. Long before that moment, I gathered that she wasn't exactly the brightest crayon in the box and being newly turned didn't help with whatever common sense she had. The wound in her gut wouldn't kill her, but it distracted her long enough for me to swing the sword as I had earlier a few times. Her head and body did the same as Isaiah's.

I was still rather disgusted.

"Rose…" Mason croaked from the other side of the room.

I quickly made my way over to him, avoiding the two headless corpses.

Everything seemed to be in slow motion. I knelt at Mason's side, doing my best to will him to stay awake. The nothings I whispered were hardly working, but at least he replied. Each word he strained to say was passionate. The guilt returned. I couldn't return his feelings. Not completely.

"Everyone, stay alert," a voice echoed throughout the house some time later. Whoever it was gave further instructions to others to scout the house for any Strigoi and then footsteps shuffled across the floor in all directions. I just stared down at a semi-conscious Mason, making me feel even guiltier for getting him in this mess.

Someone knelt down beside me and, I assumed, cautiously placed one hand on my back. Their touch was familiar. Extremely familiar. I choked on a sob and he immediately embraced me.

As much as I didn't want to cry in front of anyone, especially Dimitri, I couldn't hold back any longer. The tears began to fall. I just felt safe in his arms and knew that he wouldn't judge me for putting my emotions on display for the world to see. Dimitri's shirt was soaked in just a few seconds. I tried to pull away, but his hold was too strong for me to even want to make much effort to be away from him. I clenched his shirt as he helped me up.

"Everything will be fine, Roza," he murmured, willing me to walk with him out of the room and the house altogether.

A few guardians commented on the two dead Strigoi and how much of a miracle it was that the five of us survived. I let out a sob and I could have sworn I heard Dimitri growl.

Whenever we were on the plane, Dimitri stayed by my side, watching me closely, but, if I didn't know any better, I'd say he was afraid to say something. I didn't appear that fragile to him, did I?

I glanced down. My hands were shaking. I looked over at Dimitri. I was so tempted to reach over and grab his hand. Only three things were stopping me from doing so.

One: No one knew about any of the romantic encounters the two of us had had and we could face some serious consequences.

Two: We'd done nothing but argue for weeks now. For all I knew, he still saw me as an immature teenager that got in his way.

Three: He still could take Tasha's offer, become her guardian, and father her children…Lately, that seemed to be all he wanted.

I let out a sigh and decided to simply twiddle my thumbs. He had to make the move… That is if he still had any romantic feelings toward me nowadays, which was highly unlikely.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Dimitri asked around an hour into the flight.

I had been leaning back in my seat, wanting to fall asleep, but I just couldn't. I turned my head to look at him. This was first time that I actually got the chance to observe just how much all of this had taken a toll on him. He had big, dark circles under his eyes and his hair was hanging messily around his face. I guiltily looked down at the arm rests, but he lightly cupped my chin and tilted my head back up to look at him. He was frowning now. "Rose," he breathed, "I understand if you don't want to, but please just say something."

I glanced around the plane, only to find that everyone was taking a nap. Huh. What luck. I stalled for time by putting the back of my seat in the upright position and then tying my hair back. I sighed. "I didn't think that I'd feel so…so negative after my first kill. _Kills_, I mean. On top of that, I should have just kept the information a secret. You trusted me and look at what happened. It's my fault everyone has been stressed out. It's my fault the other four faced death. If anything, I should have d—"

Dimitri leaned forward, taking my hands in his as he did. "Don't think like that. You weren't the only one making decisions. It's not your fault, not even in the least."

I tightly shut my eyes. "Why aren't you angry with me? I've just proven every last point you've made these past few weeks. If I were in your shoes, I'd be furious…"

"I'm not angry," he said as he squeezed my hands. "Do you—" I felt his forehead rest against mine. When he spoke again, I had to strain to hear him. "When I heard that you were missing, I was so, so worried. You wouldn't believe how impulsive I became."

I opened my eyes to look at him. I noticed that his frown had deepened. "I don't see why. I deserve to be yelled at."

"No, you don't." He grimaced. "And I don't want to yell at you anyway. It would only devastate you more and I hate to see you hurt, especially when I'm the reason for you being so." For some reason, he smiled.

My eyebrows furrowed. "What could you possibly be smiling about?"

Dimitri shrugged and leaned back against his seat. "I'll tell you later."

I wanted to protest, but after looking around the plane again, I noticed that a few others were beginning to wake up. It took a few seconds, but it occurred to me that whatever he had to say dealt with _us_. I felt myself smile as I leaned back again and fell into a much needed and wanted sleep.

Originally, I thought that we would be heading back to the ski lodge, but after such a long flight, I realized that we had been heading back to the academy. Dimitri reassured me that Lissa packed my bags and they would be in my dorm room when we got back. That was the only conversation we had following my mini-confessional.

When we landed, Dimitri was still hesitant to leave my side, for which I was grateful. Any doubts that I had had about his feelings were proven wrong. How protective he was, was questioned by a few of the guardians and they went as far as to comment that he was taking his role as my mentor too seriously, but at least my mother had no objection. She almost seemed relieved that someone was there for her. I just had a feeling that she felt Dimitri was acting the part of an older sibling, rather than a friend or a lover. The thought made me cringe. Literally.

"What?" Dimitri asked at my sudden discomfort.

We came to a halt on the middle of the stairs. He placed a hand on my shoulder. Worry took over his features. I shook my head and continued my way upstairs. I knew that he'd understand to follow.

We sat on the edge of my bed in silence for a few moments. I eventually decided to recall my observations to him. They earned one of his rare, beautiful laughs.

Despite how much I loved his laugh, I couldn't help but scowl. "How is that funny?"

He wrapped one arm around me and pulled me into his side. "I'm just trying to figure out how your thought process works. And, well, I can't imagine myself as your brother, especially not after…" He didn't have to finish the sentence. I knew that he was referring to the night of the lust charm.

I deeply exhaled. "The thought disturbs me is all…"

He chuckled. "So it would seem."

The silence that followed was comfortable. Like it usually was when Dimitri and I were together. We didn't need to continuously converse to let each other know how we were feeling or what we were thinking. It was a breath of fresh air to be able to just be with him alone again.

With Mason, we always had to say or do something. We just didn't bond well enough to ever make it as a couple. It was best that we stayed friends. I had to know one thing before I made any decision on my relationship with Mason, however.

"Have you decided to take Tasha's offer?"

My question must have caught him off guard because he dropped his arm that was around me and stared at something across the room. "I decided _not _to accept."

I frowned. "Why though? I told you that you should take it. It's a great opportunity. Tasha cares about you and would take the risk of having dhampir children. You can be Daddy Dimka… Really, all I want is for you to be happy. Don't spare my feelings."

He groaned. "Rose, I would only be feigning happiness if I decided to become Tasha's guardian. Yes, she's one of my closest friends and, yes, her offer is generous and a great opportunity, but I just don't…I don't _love _her."

I sniffed. "Really, Dimitri, I—"

"I've already discussed this with Tasha. Granted, it took your disappearance from the ski lodge to get me to make my decision, but it's my final decision. Nothing you say will make me change my mind." He clasped his hands together. "What about Mason?"

I lie down on my bed, unsure of what to say, and stared up at the ceiling. "I really do not know. I care about him. I really do. There's just nothing there and there never has been." I pat the spot next to me.

Dimitri shook his head and stood up. "You need more rest. We'll talk more when you have."

"What about you?" I asked, propping myself up on my elbows.

"I need to report to Guardian Petrov."

"Could you at least come back after that?"

He looked over his shoulder and smiled. "I'll do my best. I have to get Guardian Petrov's permission first."

When he was opening the door, I said, "You'll be back, comrade. No matter how much you deny it, I'm converting you to rebellion."

He snorted with laughter, continuing his way out of my room and down the hall.

I don't know when I fell asleep, but I woke up when the bed shifted. I tried sitting up, but I was immediately pushed back down.

"Go back to sleep," Dimitri whispered.

I scoffed, wanting to talk to him, but I was exhausted and fell back asleep. This time, well, I didn't have what anyone would call a peaceful sleep.

_I was back in my room at the ski lodge. _

_Lissa wasn't around. She must be with Christian or…something. _

_She deserved her privacy for once, so I didn't check the bond. Instead, I got up from my sitting position on the bed and wandered out into the hallway. I didn't have a destination. I just felt like walking around. The occasional Moroi would rush by, bundled up, with a bellhop close behind. Clearly, they still felt that they weren't safe enough at the ski lodge and were ending their vacations early._

_Eventually, I found myself back on the roof—or whatever it was—I hid at the night of the dinner Lissa had invited me to. I scowled in remembrance of my mother lecturing me about being around Adrian Ivashkov. She had been overreacting, no matter what Dimitri had told me when he followed me up to this spot._

_I couldn't hold back the smile in thinking about Dimitri. That night had been the actual first conversation we'd had in a while that didn't end with either of us snapping a retort that we didn't mean. _

_In fact, it was the last conversation I had with him before convincing Christian to accompany me to Spokane to drag Mason, Eddie, and Mia back._

"_You must be freezing," a voice sounded behind me._

_I had a sense of déjà vu. I glanced over my shoulder and smiled at the sight of Dimitri standing there in the doorway. I pat the spot next to me on the same ventilation system and he obliged, furthering my déjà vu experience by putting his jacket over my shoulders. I immediately pulled it tighter around me and breathed in his amazing scent. _

"_Why are you up here?" he asked._

_I shrugged, my eyes squinting at the faint glow caused by a distant city. "No reason. I went for a walk and just ended up here."_

_He chuckled. "Next time, remember to at least have a jacket with you. We're in the mountains and it's the winter season."_

_I rolled my eyes. Why did Dimitri in my dreams have to be so much like Dimitri in my reality? My imagination was so unfair. _

_I sighed, "I'll try to remember, but only because you asked so nicely."_

_He chuckled again. "Good."_

_Okay, for the most part, my imagination wasn't fair, but I liked this high-spirited Dimitri and I'm glad silences between us weren't awkward in my dreams either._

_After a matter of moments, there was a scream somewhere in the distance. I assumed it was only someone out on the slopes late. Dimitri didn't have the same thought, though, because he stood up and surveyed the surrounding area. Almost instantly, he turned back around and began heading for the door._

_I felt my eyebrows furrow in confusion. "Dimitri, what's going on?"_

_He turned around swiftly, yet he hesitated when answering. "I think there are Strigoi on the grounds. I need to go help." I went to protest, but he shook his head. "It's my duty, Rose. Now, please, do me a favor and stay out of harm's way. If you can, find Lissa and keep an eye on her. Hide if necessary."_

_Before I knew it, he took a large step forward to brush his lips against mine. Almost as quickly, he was opening the door and hurrying down the staircase._

_He'd given me a direct order. There was no way I could deny him. So, I rushed down the stairwell and began my search for Lissa throughout the lodge._

_I didn't have any luck._

_After an hour of worrying about Dimitri—and Lissa, I decided to take Dimitri's advice and hide. The only reasonable place I could think of was my room._

_It didn't occur to me until I was shutting the curtains that I could check the bond, which I immediately did after calling myself an idiot._

_Only I didn't sense Lissa at all. _

_Actually, I didn't even hear the commotion that I had around the lodge during my search over the last hour or so. Odd._

_Hiding was the last thing on my mind by that point. I ran back out of the room and, once again, wandered throughout the lodge. _

_From what I could tell, the Strigoi had gotten the best of the majority of the guests. Many were killed. The rest were severely injured. I winced at the sight._

_I found myself back outside, running through the snow. It didn't take long to spot a trail of blood in the snow. The possible scenarios that flashed in my mind disturbed me, but I needed to know Dimitri was safe. Lissa too._

_I began slowing down when I heard voices nearby. They were familiar and sent chills down my spine. I cautiously hid myself behind a tree, only glancing around it to confirm my fears. Elena and Isaiah were back. And they were proudly standing among the motionless bodies of the ones I loved. All but two. Their fates were even worse._

_Dimitri and Lissa groggily approached the two Strigoi. Their skin was the same chalky white. I let out a gasp. Big mistake. The four of them stopped their conversation and turned to look at me._

_All of them had the same red eyes._

I gasped for air as I sat straight up.

I blinked and realized that I was back in my dorm room at the academy. I breathed a sigh of relief. It was only a dream.

"Rose?" Dimitri's voice came from right beside me.

I looked over at him. He was leaning against the headboard, a book in his hand. I didn't say anything.

He frowned. "Rose, what's wrong?"

I shook my head, scooting back to lean against the headboard as well. "Bad dream," I replied.

He set the book on the bedside table, and then placed his hand on mine. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I…don't know."

"I'm here," he assured me. "I'm not going anywhere."

I smiled at that and leaned my head on his shoulder. Despite my earlier annoyance in putting me first, rather than Tasha and her offer, I felt content. He still had feelings for me and, I assume, wanted to make it work.

Of course, one look at him brought back a tinge of annoyance. "When is the last time you had any sleep?"

He didn't look at me, but his eyes narrowed as he stared at the opposing wall. "That doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does," I complained. "I'm safe now, okay? You can relax."

"You may be safe, but clearly you're not all right. I expected no less, this being the first time that you had to kill. The experience is never easy and you'll need time to cope." He exhaled deeply. "And, for argument's sake, this is my job, Rose. I took on the role as your mentor and I'm going to live by that from now on. If that means that I appear overprotective and brotherly to everyone else, so be it. I want to make sure you stay out of trouble."

I rolled my eyes, stifling a laugh. "You sound like a stalker."

He groaned. "Rose, please."

"Okay, okay," I muttered. I decided to change the topic. "So, Alberta gave you permission to stay here?"

Dimitri kept the guardian mask in place, but I saw the relief of the topic change in his eyes. "_Guardian Petrov_," he corrected, "approved. She understands that you may need someone by your side for a few days. Apparently, I'm the one person you trust the most and will understand the situation."

"That's logical." Again, I was content with how things were. No one suspected a thing between Dimitri and me. To everyone else, he was my mentor and I was his student, but we had a strong friendship. If only they knew… "Did she say anything else?"

"About you? No." His hand tightened around mine. "Though, she did inform me of two things."

"Involving who…exactly?" I tried the one eyebrow thing he did so flawlessly, but I failed miserably and both eyebrows rose, rather than just one.

"_Adrian Ivashkov_," he began with some distaste, "decided to accompany us back to the academy and will be training with Lissa in Spirit. Guardian Petrov also mentioned Mason." At my change from irritation towards Adrian to curiosity, Dimitri smiled sadly. "He'll be fine, but that last hit he took resulted in a concussion. He'll be at the infirmary for a few more days."

"What about Eddie? Christian? Mia?"

"Eddie is supposed to be released in the morning. Christian and Mia are just fine. They really only needed to go to the feeders." I opened my mouth to speak again, but he knew what I was going to ask. "Lissa is perfectly fine. She should be sound asleep in her room now." He finally turned his head to look at me. "My only concern at the moment is you, though. You're evading a conversation about how you're doing, which isn't getting me any closer to sleep."

Damn. "Okay, fine," I said. "I'll tell you."

So, I explained the dream in detail, the fear it ignited within me, the random, boiling desire to have him at my side at all times now…It was bizarre to tell him all that, but, at the same time, I was relieved to have it off my chest.

I eventually fell back asleep. This time it was dreamless again, for which I was grateful.

And I was glad to finally see the end of that horrible day.


	2. Chapter 2

"Really, I'll be fine," I reassured Dimitri for what seemed like the millionth time that morning. I was trying to push him toward the door, but he was refusing to leave. "I can survive by myself for just a little while."

He snorted with laughter. "You're not getting me to go anywhere."

"Not even for an hour?"

"Not even for a minute. You want to spend more time with me and now I'm here." He swiftly turned around. "And it's my job."

"But there's a line between quality time and suffocation."

He rolled his eyes and walked around me, taking a seat on my bed. "Just do what you're going to do. Pretend I'm not here."

I gaped at him. "It's pretty difficult to ignore a big Russian sitting on my bed."

"Would you rather I closed my eyes and, technically, not watch?"

"I just want you to leave while I shower and get dressed." I normally wouldn't care if someone was in my room while I groom myself, but it's different with Dimitri. Yeah, he's seen me completely nude, but that was under the lust charm and, even then when all of my emotions were amplified and out of my control, I was self-conscious.

"Why not warn me when you're about to leave the bathroom after your shower?"

It was no wonder our personalities, no matter how similar they were, clashed as often as they did. He was so stubborn. I felt my face fall and my cheeks heat up. "Don't you have something else to do rather than sit around and play the role as my bodyguard?"

He coolly raised one eyebrow. "As I said, it's my job. That is until Guardian Petrov orders otherwise." If he noticed that I was blushing, he didn't let on. "That is the only way you'll be able to get rid of me."

"But—"

"Rose," he warned, "don't even bother arguing. You won't win."

I glared at him before storming into the bathroom and slamming the door behind me. Throwing a tantrum wasn't doing me much favor at the moment, but I didn't want to think it through nor did I really care. I just decided to calm down and think things over in a hot shower.

First, I wasn't going to ignore the fact that I'd been through a lot in the last twenty-four hours. I, along with four others, escaped the clutches of the burly human assistants of Strigoi, behead those Strigoi with a dull sword, and managed to only have a few minor injuries, the worst being burns from when Christian melted the flexi-cuffs. I may have come out alive, but I felt so stressed and almost guilty. Dimitri had been right about killing Strigoi. Even though they had been turned and were now considered evil and no longer living, they were Moroi, dhampir, or human and living at one point in time. That factor made it difficult to do my job as a guardian and kill them.

Second, Dimitri declined Tasha's offer. I told him to accept it, but, of course, he didn't listen. All it took was me running off and the panic he went through. So, despite the stoic exterior, he truly did care for me. That should have been enough for me to let it go. I just couldn't though. He was giving up becoming a father, something I knew he truly wanted to be. Something I couldn't give him. Yet he says that he would only be pretending to be happy had he accepted her offer. He was, more or less, inferring that I made him happy.

Third, my mom actually seemed to care for my well-being. I'd asked Dimitri how everything was handled with the disappearance of five students. He explained the typical guardian strategies. He wasn't exactly a fan of how I viewed my mother and purposely slipped in a few details on how she reacted. Honestly my opinion of my mother didn't change a lot after he shared those details. But hey, it's difficult to not hold a grudge at her for leaving me to be raised by the academy and only show up in my life when her Moroi decided to visit.

I let out a heavy sigh as I felt the water begin to cool down. I quickly turned the water off and climbed out of the shower, grabbing a towel and wrapped it around myself. I then exited the bathroom and shuffled over to the closet.

I glanced over my shoulder to see that Dimitri was lying down with hands clasped together and his eyes tightly shut. I couldn't help but laugh. Nothing got in the way of his duty.

The corners of his mouth turned upward, but he continued to keep his eyes closed. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," I muttered, pulling a random shirt and a pair of jeans off some hangers. "Nothing at all."

The smile faded and he began to twiddle his thumbs. I had just put on undergarments and about asked him what was wrong, but he began talking before I could. "Guardian Petrov called. She said that Mason has woken up. You can go visit him if you'd like."

I frowned. I wasn't sure how I'd react to seeing Mason because, at that moment, I felt responsible for him being injured in the first place. I wanted to apologize, but I probably couldn't any time soon.

Dimitri noticed my lapse in silence. He sat up, eyes now open, and looked me over. "Rose, what's wrong?"

I gnawed at the inside of my cheek and not because I still hadn't put on the shirt or jeans. I didn't know what to say to him. So I avoided eye contact.

"Rose, you can tell me anything." His long legs swung over the edge of the bed and he stood up. "The least you could do is look at me."

I ignored that and turned my gaze to the ceiling. "I'm just so confused."

"Confused about what?" He was right in front of me now.

"Everything," I groaned and buried my face in his chest. My voice came out muffled. "I feel like all of this is my fault. Mason wouldn't have a concussion if I could have kept a secret. You trusted me and I let you down…"

His calloused hands caressed my cheeks. "Roza, it's not your fault. He made the decision to go back inside the house. He made the decision to go to Spokane in the first place. The only thing I wish you would have done differently is that you should have told someone rather than taking Christian along with you out of the state…but it could have been your irrational thinking that saved—"

"How? I got all five of us kidnapped. They left in critical condition because of me."

"Rose, no." His voice sounded strained. His grip on my face tightened. "Because of you, they're alive. You saved them from further exhaustion and injuries. You prevented the worst from happening. That is why I'm proud of you. You did what you had to do to keep them safe." Dimitri exhaled. "And you have no idea how glad I am that you're still alive."

I shifted my weight and finally looked him in the eyes. I think I was on the verge of tears; my eyes were stinging. "I feel like I shouldn't be, though."

"Don't think like that!" A line creased in his forehead. "Do you know how many people would be suffering if you had died? I know that I couldn't live with myself knowing I could have prevented it." He shook his head. "If there's anything I've realized over the past few days, it's how I feel about you, Rose."

I gulped. "And how do you feel?"

He smiled sadly. "I hate that it took your disappearance to realize this and I apologize that it did, but I love you."

I choked on a sob. "I—I love you, too."

His smile turned genuine and I felt like I would melt. I loved his smile almost as much as his laugh. He started to lean down toward me. Ever impatient, I slid my arms around his neck and pulled his face down the rest of the way to crash my lips to his. For the first time he didn't pull away. He almost seemed urgent about kissing me. One of his hands tangled itself in my damp hair. The other had moved down to my waist and Dimitri pulled me closer to him. I don't know, nor did I really care, how I ended up lying down on my bed with him hovering above me, but I just went with it. I needed his touch, his kiss. I needed him.

I fumbled over the top few buttons of his shirt, but I calmed down and found myself pushing his shirt off his shoulders, down his arms, and tossing it somewhere in the room. I took the chance to admire his well-toned abs and chest.

Again I felt self-conscious. My body attracted plenty of attention from Moroi and dhampirs my age alike, but Dimitri was older, probably more experienced… It amazed me that he ever gave me the time of day.

Sensing my discomfort, Dimitri pulled away. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied. "I'm just thinking."

He nuzzled my neck. "Do you want to talk about it some more?"

_Of course I don't want to talk about it_, I said in my head. I wanted more than anything to say it aloud, but Dimitri would never let it go. "I just…don't know what to think right now. I didn't expect to almost regret killing Strigoi."

"It's perfectly normal for you to feel that way," he said as he lied next to me, draping an arm across my bare midriff. "It's still taking a life. You probably won't ever get used to it, but it will be your duty once you become a guardian." With his other hand, he began playing with a strand of my hair. "I know that's not all that's on your mind and whatever else you're thinking about won't stop bothering you until you talk about it."

I avoided his gaze by staring at the ceiling. I was sure that if I looked at him, my emotions would betray me and I would begin to cry. "I know how much you want to be a father, Dimitri. I don't understand why you're passing on the opportunity to have a family. I'm certainly not worth it."

"It'd be great to have a family, but I just don't feel that way about Tasha and I won't pretend that I do. I know that it's impossible, but if I were to have a family, it'd be with you." He sighed. "If I accepted, I have this feeling that you wouldn't be stable. Not accepting her offer is worth it, Rose. You're worth it. I don't know what I have to do to prove that."

Truth be told, even I didn't know what he would have to do to prove that I was worth everything he was giving up. I felt even more confused than before.

I wanted to avoid further discussion on that, so I changed the subject. "How much longer is my mother staying here?"

"A few days. She's staying until after your _molnija _ceremony."

"Ah, I see." I tore my gaze away from the ceiling and finally looked at him again. "When exactly is that?"

He stopped playing with my hair. "Tomorrow after breakfast."

"Does it hurt?" I asked without much thought.

"It stings the first few times, but it doesn't hurt." Dimitri smiled a small smile. "Just think of something so that you don't completely focus on the needle."

I thought about that for a moment or two. It was typical advice, but it usually worked. Maybe, just maybe, if I explicitly thought about a certain Russian long enough, I'd be able to avoid feeling whatever pain the needle brought. I grinned mischievously at Dimitri.

He raised one eyebrow curiously and asked, "Rose, what are you going to do?"

"Nothing for now. I just thought of the perfect thing to think about tomorrow morning."

His gaze hardened into a glare. "Do I want to know?"

"You probably want to be shown," I mused.

"Rose," he chastised.

"What?" I batted my eyelashes innocently. "It's no worse than the situation we're in at the moment."

Something must have clicked in his mind because he climbed off the bed and wandered off to some part of the room.

I frowned, propping myself up on my elbows. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to find…" he muttered as he bent over to retrieve his shirt. Without looking at me, he ordered, "Get dressed."

I would have loved to just lie in his arms for the rest of eternity, but did as he said anyway. I pulled on the shirt and stepped into the jeans I had picked out earlier, all while glaring at the back of Dimitri's head.

We walked in silence around campus. After a few minutes, I registered where we were heading. I tried to walk off in another direction, but Dimitri took hold of my wrist and pulled me along behind him.

I groaned. "Do we have to go there? I don't know what to say. As a matter of fact—"

I was pulled into Lissa's head then.

She was sitting with Christian in the church's attic. He was mumbling sweet nothings to her as he slowly rubbed circles in her back. She was worried about everyone, especially Christian and me. Sure she was with him at the moment, but she still hadn't seen me since before Christian and I left the ski lodge.

"Liss, Rose is with Belikov. He won't let anything happen to her," Christian said.

"I just want to see her. That way I know she's all right," Lissa sobbed.

"Let her see Ashford first at least."

Lissa grumbled incoherently, but didn't argue any further.

I forced myself out of my mind, finding that I was still in the middle of campus. Dimitri had stopped us and looked around aimlessly.

"Christian's with her. She'll be preoccupied for a little while," I said with a grimace.

Dimitri turned his attention to me. "So I won't be taking you to the infirmary against your will now?"

I shrugged. "I'd rather go there than walk in on those two."

"I see," he said with a nod. It amazed me how much he ignored reporting rule violations when Lissa or I was involved. "Let's not keep Mason waiting any longer."

Damn. I didn't really think that through. I had to think of the perfect way to tell Mason that we're better off as friends and an excuse if he asks why. I sighed.

"He'll understand whatever you decide to tell him."

"I just wish I knew what that is. I can't exactly tell him 'We can't be any more than friends, Mase. Why, you ask? Oh, because I love my mentor. Sorry 'bout that.'" I rolled my eyes. "That wouldn't go down too well."

Dimitri's mouth fell into a thin line and his eyes narrowed. "Tell him what I told you."

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "You've told me a lot of things. Elaborate, please."

"Try something along the lines of 'We can't focus on a relationship. We need to focus on training and our eventual charges.'"

"Then I'll be a hypocrite," I pointed out.

He sighed. "Then tell him as much of the truth as you can."

"What do you mean?" To be perfectly honest, I was two seconds from punching him in the jaw. He was being too vague.

"You don't see him as more than a friend, right?" I nodded and he continued. "Tell him that. Seriously, the temptation to slap Dimitri was growing with each second. I opted to gape at him. I guess he took my extended silence as a sign to continue. "It may seem cruel, but it's better to tell him now than to drag it out longer than necessary. I don't really know Mason, but he might take whatever you say offensively."

"Did you ever give your sisters relationship advice?" I don't know why I asked that, but my tongue seemed to have a mind and control of its own at times.

"On occasion," he replied with a smile.

Despite his smile, I saw a bit of longing in his features. I looked around to see if anyone was around. There were a few, so I decided to not reach over and grab his hand.

I sighed. "How much do you want to see them?"

"More than you'd believe." He looked at me and his smile became more genuine. "I wish I knew how you read me so easily."

"Probably how you read me so easily too."

"That's the problem," he mused. "I don't understand how I do that either, Roza."

My heart fluttered at the use of my name in Russian. Whatever negativity, if any, he felt toward me earlier had dissipated. I grinned. "Neither do I."

We continued the rest of the way to the infirmary in that comfortable silence of ours. No further words were needed. I finally found myself in front of the closed door of Mason's room. I glanced up at Dimitri.

"I'm going to be in there with you, but I won't eavesdrop or anything," he assured me. Not that I cared if he listened or not and I'm sure he knew that. "I would give you privacy, but this is my job."

"It's your job to stalk your students?" I mock-frowned. "Well, student, but—"

"Rose, quit stalling and just knock on the door," he said with a roll of his eyes.

I deeply exhaled, and then knocked on the door before pushing it open a little and peeking in the room. I spotted Mason beaming at me. I took that as a 'come in', so I did. Dimitri followed, but he went to stand on the opposite side of the room from the bed. I sat down in a chair at bedside.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Like…I'm not going to lie. I feel like shit," Mason replied as he rubbed the back of his head.

I nodded, thinking back to when I came face to face with Natalie Dashkov as a Strigoi. She had, more or less, manhandled me. "Yeah, being thrown against a wall by a Strigoi isn't the greatest experience."

"Definitely not." There was something different about his gaze and I couldn't put my finger on what it was.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" I raised my hand and ran it across my face.

Mason laughed. "There's nothing on your face. And you look as beautiful as you always do."

I looked down at my hands resting in my lap. His compliments were going to make this conversation that much more difficult.

"Hey," Mason whispered. "Are you okay?"

I averted my gaze to Dimitri, who may have been staring at nothing in particular, but I could see the worry etched in his features. I sighed. "I'm fine."

"Rose—"

"No really, I'm fine." I looked at him and flashed him my best smile. "I'm not the one in the hospital bed…for once. I should be the one asking 'are you okay', not you."

He rolled his eyes. "And I told you that I don't feel all too well."

"Actually, I recall you saying that you feel like shit. Not that it makes much of a difference." After that, neither of us said anything. It wasn't awkward, but it wasn't all that comfortable. I decided to break it. "So…what do you want to talk about?"

"I'm not sure." His eyes narrowed slightly as he thought it over. "Hmm…What have you been up to since…since we got back?"

Dammit. I shifted back in the chair and folded my legs on the seat. "I've hardly done anything. I've mostly slept since we got here." It wasn't a lie, but not the entire truth. Though, I was hoping I'd get the courage to give the 'let's just be friends' speech.

"That's it?"

"Yeah. What did you expect for me to do? Climb Mount Everest?"

"Of course not," he snorted. "I just expected you to do something else is all."

I nodded. Well, I had done something, but I didn't think mentioning my romantic escapade with Dimitri earlier would be all too wise. "I would have, but I was exhausted. I needed sleep."

"I understand." He smiled. "You kicked major ass, you know. I didn't expect you to cut their heads off like that." I flinched, but he continued speaking as if he didn't notice. "I can't forget Mia either. That water sphere was cool. I just wonder where she learned how to do it…"

I'd wondered that too. And, speaking of Mia, I still needed to thank her. Mason and I or at least one of us wouldn't be alive if it weren't for her.

I shrugged. "I have no clue, but I owe her an apology. Water is definitely _not _a useless element."

"It's not," he agreed. "How is everyone anyway? I haven't been up too long and, no matter how many times I ask, no one will tell me anything."

I shrugged. "They're fine, I believe. I was told Mia and Christian only needed to go to the feeders and Eddie was supposed to be released this morning. I don't know anything more than that, though. Sorry."

"They haven't told you either?" he asked incredulously.

"Hey, I haven't been up that long either," I snapped. "And, to be perfectly honest, I wasn't in the best state to register much information last night."

He gaped at me. "There's no need to be so defensive."

"I'm not being defensive."

Mason frowned. "Rose, what's wrong with you?"

It was my turn to gape at him. Nothing was wrong with me. I only felt a little irritated. He wasn't helping that matter either. Though…it was giving me courage to end whatever fling we were having. I grimaced. "Nothing's wrong, but I do want to talk to you about something."

He shifted in the bed and, with great effort, sat up. His expression screamed that he was frustrated with the struggle he had with simply sitting up. He grunted, but didn't say anything.

I looked down at my hands in my lap again. "You know that you're my best friend, right?"

"Of course," he replied.

"Well…" I was playing with various ways to tell him that we were better off as friends. Each way made me think of a heartbroken or a furious Mason. Dammit. "I think it's best that we just stay friends and nothing more."

"What led you to that?" he asked almost indifferently.

"I just…I just don't have romantic feelings for you." I deeply exhaled. "I'm sorry." There was an extended silence. Worried, I looked up at him. "Mason?"

He tightly closed his eyes. "I wish I knew what I'm doing wrong."

I deeply exhaled, sparing a glance at Dimitri. He nodded in encouragement for me to continue. I looked back at Mason. "You're not doing anything wrong. Sometimes people are just better off as friends." _That, and I happen to have feelings for a certain mentor of mine_, I silently added. "There is someone for you, but—"

"Could you just leave? I really need to think." He kept his eyes closed.

"Yeah, sure." I stood up from the chair. "If you want to talk—"

"I'm sure Doctor Olendzki will get the message to you, Rose," Dimitri interrupted.

With that, Dimitri and I quietly left the room. Neither of us said anything until we got back to my room.

"You handled that well," Dimitri said as he sat next to me on the bed.

I snorted. "Yeah, then explain why I feel lower than dirt."

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me to him. "You don't want to hurt him, but—"

"Dimitri, I feel as if I'm lying to him."

"Why's that?"

"I only let the fling—if that's what you can call it—go on for as long as it did because I was sure that you would take Tasha's offer, or at least I expected you to not give me the time of day."

"In other words, you thought you'd grow to love Mason and leave our relationship in the past?"

"Pretty much, yeah." I shrugged. "I wish we didn't have to be so secretive about it. It would be great to just be able to hold your hand in public one day, but—"

"Before you finish," he said, quickly kissing my forehead, "you should know that I want nothing more than to express my feelings in public. I assure you that, one day soon, we will be able to do so. Until then, will it be enough if I don't push you away whenever we're alone?"

"I can deal with that." I sighed. "That's all I asked for in the beginning anyway."

He chuckled. "Well, I apologize for such a delay."

I laughed, clenching the fabric of his shirt with both hands. "As long as you keep your word, I won't be complaining."

"Well then," he said with a smile in his voice, "that's more motivation."

I grimaced as I looked up at his uncharacteristic smug facial expression. "Hey! What kind of mentoring is that? Aren't you supposed to be—?"

All other words were drowned out by his lips crashing on mine. Truth be told, I couldn't recall what I was even going to say. The things the man does to me.

------

**A/N: **Voila! The second chapter. I'm sorry that there's not a whole lot happening in this one, but I promise that there will be more conflict soon-ish. Until then, reviews would be fantastic. To my Rumor Has It readers, I'm sorry about the delay in updating…again. I have what I want to happen in my head, but I just can't get the wording right. In general, it'll be until at least the middle of May until I'm updating regularly again since my AP classes are getting majority of my attention right now. So, I apologize about that.


	3. Chapter 3

"I can't take it anymore, Christian! I have to go see her," Lissa cried as she pushed herself off the ground.

"Liss…" Christian said somewhere off to her left.

She let out a sigh. "She's my best friend and I haven't seen her in days. I need to see her before I go insane." Christian mumbled something as he stepped next to her. Lissa uncharacteristically scowled. "What?"

"Nothing," he said sheepishly. "I just said that I'll go with you. I haven't seen her since we were on the plane…and she was, more or less, a mess then."

Lissa's anger dwindled and she kissed Christian on his cheek. "I'm glad to know you care for Rose."

He grimaced. "No. I'm just a concerned citizen."

She rolled her eyes as she grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the attic doorway.

I managed to pull myself out of her head then. To say that I groggily stirred was an understatement. I went to sit up, but an arm tightened around me when I did. I shifted the best I could to see a waking Dimitri. I smiled at him. "Hey."

"How are you feeling?" he breathed.

"A lot better, thanks." I was glad to see the amusement in his eyes at the double meaning.

We only got as far as we had right before we left to see Mason. His excuse was that he didn't want to take advantage of me when I was in such a fragile state. It was a typical Dimitri excuse and I couldn't help but be angry…That is until I looked into his eyes. After that, we just talked about various things. From his childhood memories to what Lissa and I did while on the run. Somewhere in the middle of him explaining a book collection in his childhood home, I fell asleep.

As much as I loved lying next to him, we both had to get up soon. I sighed. "Unless you want us to be caught half-naked by Lissa and Christian, I think it'd be wise to let me get up and get dressed."

"When will they get here?"

I shrugged. "They left the church attic just before I woke up...I'd say a few minutes."

He muttered something in Russian under his breath as he slowly got to his feet. I scoffed as I got up as well. We shuffled around the room while getting dressed. The only noise came from the ruffling of fabric.

Just as I was pulling my shirt over my head, there was a knock at the door. "Just a second," I shouted. Leave it to me to have difficulty getting a shirt on at such a time though. Dimitri rolled his eyes but pulled my shirt down by its hem. I smiled at him before making toward the door.

I didn't get the chance to say anything after I opened the door. Lissa tackled me with a hug. Caught off guard, I stumbled back a little.

"Rose! Oh my gosh!" Lissa shrieked, and then she stepped back, keeping her hands on my shoulders. "I'm so glad you're okay. You wouldn't believe how worried I've been."

"Actually, I think I do," I said as I tapped my head. "I've been checking in ever since leaving the lodge." I glanced over her shoulder to look at Christian still out in the hallway. "Well, you don't have to stand out in the hallway, Sparky."

He glanced off to the side and I was about to ask what he was doing, but he spoke before I could. "Would you mind if my aunt comes in too?"

I felt my eyebrows furrow. They must have, unfortunately, ran into her on their way over her. Damn. Hesitantly, I answered, "Uh, yeah. Of course she can." At this point I was avoiding Lissa's curious gaze and I stepped away from her to sit back on the bed, sparing a glance at Dimitri, who had slipped back into guardian mode and stationed himself by the window.

Lissa and Christian sat down on the bed as well. Tasha sat in the desk chair.

"Are you all right, Rose?" Tasha asked.

I shrugged. "A little bruised, burned, and shaken up. Otherwise, I'm fine." Lissa suddenly had the idea to heal me, but I jumped away from the bed. "Don't even think about it, Liss. Just because—You can't heal every little injury I have. I'll recover soon enough."

Lissa frowned. _Please, I just want to help_, she said through the bond. I just shook my head.

Christian decided to speak up again. "So, have you seen Ashford yet?" My eyes narrowed and I nodded. He gave me a pointed look. "Well, how is he?"

"He's fine," I sighed. "I'm guessing he'll be out of the infirmary soon. He is pretty pissed off at me though." I caught Dimitri's disapproving glare at my choice of words, but I ignored him. Everyone else looked confused and waited for me to elaborate. I really didn't know why it was so difficult for the people in my life to avoid uncomfortable subjects. I scoffed. "I broke things off with him…"

Lissa gasped. "Why? You two seemed so happy and—"

Typically, I wouldn't interrupt Lissa, but I felt the need to then. "There was nothing there. At least on my side. I didn't want to let that go on and risk our friendship anymore than I already had." Lissa and Christian seemed pleased with my answer.

Tasha, on the other hand, looked skeptical. I couldn't help but wonder if she was putting together a puzzle in her head. My hostility towards her, Dimitri's role in the search and rescue, his decline of her offer, and my sudden break up—if that's what it could be called—with Mason. I couldn't put my finger on what emotion had set in her face. Whatever it was though, with the scar, she looked wicked.

"Dimka?" she said suddenly.

In my peripheral vision, I noticed Dimitri raise his eyebrows. "Yes, Tasha?"

"Could I speak with you privately for a moment?"

"I can't—"

"Stop taking your job so seriously," she said exasperatedly. "Rose is _seventeen_. She can look after herself for just a few minutes."

_Shit. _

I turned to Dimitri and smiled at him. "She's right, comrade. Lissa and I stayed alive for two years on our own. I'll be damned if something happens in just a few minutes." Just for emphasis, I saluted him.

I could tell by his glare that he wasn't happy with my choice of words—or the salute, for that matter—again, but he left the room with Tasha nevertheless. The idea of what she'd say to him made a growl begin to develop in the back of my throat.

What if she decided to report us? Or use it as blackmail? I quickly shook the thoughts away. I mean, Tasha hasn't seemed like the type to do either. Maybe—hopefully—she was just telling Dimitri to be careful.

"I wonder what that's about," Christian mused.

I wasn't ready to tell either of them about Dimitri and I being more than just a mentor and his student. I would when the time was right. "Probably to discuss the offer she gave him," I suggested.

"Oh, right. I nearly forgot about that." Christian's face hardened as if he were deep in thought. "Y'know, she really does like him. He doesn't seem to feel the same way, but at least they're good friends. So I'm sure everything would be just fine..."

"I like Guardian Belikov, but…maybe being Tasha's guardian will be a good thing, especially since she doesn't even have a guardian. They can always assign me another guardian anyway," Lissa input. "What do you think, Rose?"

So I guess they hadn't been told. It wasn't my place to tell them either. I crossed my arms, decided to only give a short answer. And, really, this isn't a conversation I wanted to have. "It's a great opportunity for him. For the both of them really."

"But you'd miss him?" She asked suddenly.

I gaped at her. "What?"

"He's like a brother to you. You two have been through so much in just a couple months and you've both changed for the better I think."

Well, she was right about two things. He and I had been through a lot since he forced me back to St. Vladimir's. We've both changed, too. Dimitri just definitely wasn't like a brother to me. I couldn't even imagine thinking about him that way by that time. If Christian and Lissa would have shown up right before or right after Dimitri and I went to see Mason, they wouldn't be thinking that way. At all.

I shrugged. "True. And it'd be weird to—"

There was a shout from the hallway and, since I didn't understand, I guessed it was Russian and came from Dimitri. I glanced at Lissa and Christian before I rushed out to the hallway to see what had happened.

Tasha was storming down the hallway. Dimitri, well…I had never seen him so angry. His cheek was a little red, but he was holding his left arm with his right hand. I wanted to ask him what was wrong; I just couldn't find the ability to speak.

He looked at me and his gaze softened but hardly. He didn't say anything. He just walked back into my room and went into the bathroom.

I went back in the room as well to see Christian and Lissa standing up.

"Where'd my aunt go?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know. She was walking away when I got out there."

"Then we'd better go." He grabbed Lissa's hand and they began leaving. She shot me a worried glance as she shut the door.

I deeply exhaled. I walked into the bathroom and hopped onto the counter to sit down. Dimitri had set his jacket and shirt aside, leaving him with only a wife beater and his pants on. If he hadn't been angry, I probably would have made a comment or two. As it was, my bravado couldn't make an appearance.

He glanced at me as he turned on the sink faucet and put a washcloth underneath the running water. I sighed. "So…do I want to know what happened?"

He grimaced. "That depends on whether or not you promise to not overreact if I do."

"Overreact as in…?"

"Rose," he warned.

"Okay, fine. I promise to not overreact, no matter how much whatever you tell me infuriates me." I muttered, "Stupid self-control."

Dimitri turned the water off and pressed the washcloth to his upper arm. "I'm guessing Tasha figured out everything once you mentioned Mason. We haven't been as inconspicuous as I'd thought." He shifted the cloth on his arm. I found myself leaning forward and placing my hand on his.

"Well, I gathered that much. But it doesn't explain what happened between you two."

"Well, that's the main reason she wanted to talk. I couldn't lie to her, so I told her as much of the truth as I could. She started warning me about your age, how we'll both be Lissa's guardians, how you and I would never have children of our own…" He sighed. "I didn't let her finish, but I have a feeling that she was going to say that nothing bad could come from me being her guardian. I told her that I knew the consequences and, if necessary, I would resign from being Lissa's guardian and ask to be reassigned to someone nearby. I just know that I can't be away from you now that I know what it feels like."

"And that made her angry?"

"I guess. She slapped me. At least I can say I deserved that much."

"What about your arm?"

His eyes narrowed. "I don't really know. She started to walk off, but she turned back around and threw a ball of fire at me. If I hadn't moved out of the way at all, I'd be in a much worse state."

"I'm not worth your friendship with Tasha being ruined. If you want to keep her as a friend, accept her offer—"

"Rose, no." Dimitri frowned. "My decision's already been made and I'm not changing my mind."

I squeezed his hand…Which reminded me. "Why didn't you go get the burn treated? I could handle an extra few minutes alone."

"Because…" He shook his head.

Ah, I understood then. "Doctor O. probably wouldn't believe anything you told her unless you said something about a Moroi using magic."

Dimitri smiled a half smile. "'Doctor O.'?"

"Yeah," I said with a shrug. "I go to the infirmary too often. Saying 'Doctor Olendzki' has really gotten to be too much to say. I think a nickname is fair."

He removed the washcloth from the burn. "Why don't you ask her if it's all right before you make it a habit?"

"She never asked to call me her number one patient."

"Though, you may as well be," he said coolly.

I mock-glared at him. "You may just be her number two patient if you keep up with the witty commentary, comrade."

"Oh, really?" He did the cool one eyebrow trick that I have yet to master. "You can hardly knock me off me feet. How are you going to injure me enough to put me in the infirmary?"

That was a good question. I pursed my lips. Sure, I was joking, but I was curious about what it would actually take.

Then I grinned mischievously.

Dimitri's eyes widened. "Rose, what are you thinking?"

"Nothing," I replied, feigning innocence. "But now I think I know how I'd go about injuring you."

"And what would that be?" he asked almost indifferently as he examined the burn that was now blistering.

I forced myself to not make a face. "What's the worst thing about an opponent during a fight?"

"They're trying to hurt you," he said bluntly.

I gaped at him. "Did you just make a joke?"

He briefly looked at me and chuckled. "I do have a sense of humor, you know."

"Well, it'd be nice for you to not be so serious a little more often." I smiled. "Anyway, other than that they're trying to hurt you, what's the worst thing about an opponent?"

"It depends," he said slowly. "Why are you asking me these questions anyway? _I _am the teacher here."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm only speaking figuratively."

"Okay, so speaking figuratively," he began, "the worst thing about an opponent would be if they knew your every move and/or weaknesses…" His face hardened. "Rosemarie Hathaway, don't you dare."

"Don't I dare what?" I batted my eyelashes. "This is all figurative."

He mumbled something in Russian.

I chose to ignore whatever he said. "So about your arm…"

"I'll work through it. I've had worse injuries."

"Dimitri…"

"Rose, I'll be fine."

I looked down, staring at the floor. Dimitri lightly placed his hand under my chin and tilted my head back up so that I would look at him. "Hey, no frowning. There's only so much of an upset Rose I can take."

I smiled at him. Whether it appeared real or fake to him was another story.

"Come on," he breathed. "We need to get you something to eat."

"But I'm not—" I couldn't finish. My stomach growled and answered for me.

Dimitri laughed. "Not even your body likes it when you lie. Plus, it's probably been a while since you've eaten." He picked his shirt up off the counter and slid his arms into the sleeves. "Unless you want to be seen with unruly hair by your classmates, you should probably brush your hair."

I scoffed. It's nice to know he took his time informing me that I looked a hot mess. Though, to be fair, he had to make himself presentable earlier as well and also tend to the burn. So, I grumbled incoherently as I hopped off the counter and began rummaging through the drawers for my brush.

Dimitri and I entered the cafeteria a little while later. He stationed himself near the table Lissa, Christian, and I sat at. I took a detour through the line, managing to grab a bottle of water, a sandwich, and this trail mix that sounded almost appetizing.

I joined my friends—well, best friend and unfortunate acquaintance—at the table. They stopped whatever they were discussing and avoided my gaze. I tried to read Lissa's mind, but she was blocking me.

I frowned. "What were you two talking about?"

Lissa's eyebrows furrowed. "Nothing. Just—"

"Nothing?" I rolled my eyes. "If it was nothing, then you wouldn't have stopped talking when I sat down."

"Rose…" She sighed. "We're just worried about you. You don't seem to be yourself."

I let out a humorless laugh. Not at Lissa, but at the observation. I hadn't been myself in a while, but, to continue being fair, Lissa and Christian hardly ever acknowledged what went on with the people around them unless something huge happened, which was apparently the case then. If they had been anyone else, I would have said that aloud.

I chose to simply shrug instead. "I think it's just the school. The serious atmosphere really changes a person. Unfortunately, it got to me too. Bastards," I grumbled.

Then I felt someone kick my leg. I seethed and turned to Dimitri standing next to me and nonchalantly scanning the room. "_Ow_. Did you just kick me?"

"Absolutely not," he replied smugly. He only looked at me for a few seconds, but I didn't miss the amused glint in his eyes.

I glared at him. "Liar," I muttered.

It was nice to see him smile…even if it was a brief one. He was back to his stern persona. Heaven forbid someone saw him with his guard down just a little. I took the opportunity to stick my tongue out at him. This time he stifled a laugh.

For a matter of minutes, I just sat there picking at my sandwich and cancelling out whatever Lissa and Christian were talking about. I kind of wanted to not see my lunch—or dinner? I had really lost track of time.

I was brought back to reality when someone sat down in the seat next to me. I turned to look at them and nearly let out a very un-Rose-like squeal. Instead, I gasped and tackled him with a hug, nearly knocking us both to the floor. "Eddie!"

It took him a few seconds to hug back, but when he did, his laughter was like music to my ears. My most recent memories of Eddie consisted of him being high on the endorphins of a Strigoi bite and it pained me to even think about how ecstatic he'd become from just few feedings and his slurred words.

I shook my head as I pulled away from him. "How are you feeling?"

He shrugged, and then shifted in his seat a little. "I'm getting better. I can at least think coherently now."

"That's a start…" I said awkwardly.

"Yeah." Eddie let out a hollow laugh. "So…have you seen Mason yet?"

The tabletop suddenly became very interesting. The one person I didn't want to discuss Mason with is Eddie. Seeing as the two are best friends, telling Eddie that I probably hurt his best friend would be rather awkward.

"Rose?"

I sighed and looked up at him. "I saw him a little while after I woke up."

"And…how is he?"

"Physically, he's fine…Well, as okay as he can be after being thrown into a wall by a young, irate Strigoi."

"Physically?" he asked, incredulous.

"Well, yeah. Emotionally, he's—Actually, I don't even know."

"Traumatized?" he suggested. "That's perfectly understandable, given the situation. I think we all are a little shaken up from it. I mean—"

I shook my head. "I was talking about when I left the infirmary. He was furious…with me," I muttered the last part.

"I don't understand." His eyebrows furrowed. "You saved his life, Rose. Why would—Well, he did hit his head. Maybe his judgment is impaired right now."

I growled—yes, actually _growled_—in frustration. I told Eddie about my visit with Mason earlier, only leaving out my mental additions about Dimitri. A voice in my head was telling me that maybe, just maybe, mentioning that would just make everything worse.

Once I was done, Eddie sat there for a moment or so, processing it all. He didn't push the subject further. "So, uh, what about your _molnija _marks? When are you getting them?"

I smiled gratefully at him. "Dimitri—" I tilted my head in his direction "—said tomorrow after breakfast."

"So soon?"

"Better sooner rather than later." I shrugged. "Actually, I'm looking forward to it."

For the second time during that sitting, I felt someone kick my shin. I scoffed and turned to Dimitri. Clearly, he heard the double meaning behind my words. To be perfectly honest, if it weren't for him, I wouldn't be looking forward to getting my marks at all. "Unless you expect my leg to bust open and candy to fall out, I really suggest you stop kicking me." His eyes narrowed in warning. I yawned. "Let me guess. You're thinking about making me run extra laps when training starts back up."

"_Rose_!" Lissa shrieked.

I blinked and turned to face her. "What?"

"You really shouldn't speak to Guardian Belikov like that…" She frowned.

I opened my mouth to speak, but, of course, Dimitri beat me to it. "No need to worry, Princess. Rose has said and done a lot worse. Fortunately, I've learned to cancel out her comments."

I heard Christian and Eddie snort with laughter. Lissa pursed her lips, doing her best to hold back any laughter.

"I'm right here," I grumbled. Dimitri smiled the first real genuine smile I'd seen since return to St. Vladimir's. Damn him for being so irresistible.

"We'll discuss training after the ceremony tomorrow," he said.

I grimaced. I wasn't looking forward to returning to training yet. I was lucky to form a coherent sentence. I couldn't imagine what it'd be like to fight again.

I stood up. Dimitri frowned as his arms twitched as if he was thinking about pushing me back into a seated position. With a sigh, I said, "I'm not feeling too well. I just want to go lie back down." It wasn't my best excuse, seeing as how Dimitri would interrogate me until I actually had a headache, but I was no longer in the mood to converse with my friends. I just wanted to relax with a certain Russian. Like I had been for the past day.

I waved goodbye to everyone at the table before heading back to the dhampir dorm building, Dimitri in tow.

Dimitri being, well, Dimitri, pulled me to a stop halfway there and turned me to face him. He lightly rested the back of his hand against my forehead. After a few seconds, he pulled away and his face was emotionless. "You seem perfectly fine."

"I—" I shifted my weight, exhaling deeply. "I just wasn't comfortable."

"Comfortable?" He placed his hands on either of my shoulders and leveled himself to look me right in the eyes. "Rose, you really should face—"

"I'm not ready!" I snapped, taking a step back. I watched as Dimitri dropped his arms to his sides and pulled himself back up to full height. "A day ago, I made my first kills after being held captive for days in a basement. A few hours ago, I probably ruined my friendship with Mason and, more than likely, did the same with Eddie. Excuse me for finding discomfort right now. I'm only seventeen."

His face hardened into a scowl. "Seventeen or not, it's our duty."

"Our duty to what? Not be allowed to have emotions and lives of our own?" I probably appeared to be hysterical, but I didn't care at the moment. "I had no choice but to have this life—not that it's not great to keep others alive—but I would have just loved to have made the decision." I watched as his head tilted to the side as if in deep thought. "And if we were Moroi in our situation, there would hardly be any reason to keep it a secret. We wouldn't have to—"

Dimitri pulled me into an embrace, cutting off whatever else I was going to say. "Rose..." I choked on a sob. "We'll figure something out. You don't have to worry about losing any friends or about us soon enough." He released his hold on me but stayed close. "What did I say earlier?"

I hastily brushed my fingers across my cheeks, wiping away tears. "You said—" I hiccupped "—a lot of things earlier."

He chuckled, which brightened my mood a little. "_No_ frowning. I hate seeing you like this."

Like earlier, I smiled at him. I really didn't want to upset him. "Better?"

"Much." He looked around before circling his fingers around my wrist. "Now let's go. You have a big day tomorrow." I snorted with laughter and he began leading me to the dhampir dorm building.

"What time do I wake up in the morning?" I asked as I plopped down on my bed a few minutes later.

Dimitri stood by the desk, unbuttoning his shirt. "I'd say about the time you usually do for our training sessions." He raised a mocking eyebrow. "I'm assuming it'll take a while for you to get up and make it down to breakfast anyway."

I mock-glared at him. "I'm not always late for everything."

"No, but, if my memory serves correctly, you usually are." He looked down at the blistered burn on his arm.

I frowned. "That still looks pretty horrible. Are you sure you don't need to get it checked out?"

"It'll be gone in a week or so. Stop worrying about it." He brushed it with his opposing hand before pulling of the wife beater. I didn't miss him wince when he stretched his arms over his head.

I smirked. "I don't have a medical degree or anything, but I can try to nurse you back to health."

"Says the one with two burns and numerous cuts and bruises."

"Hey! I'm being nice. Count it as a blessing that you're one of the few I am nice to."

"You're more than just 'nice' to me, but that's our little secret," he said as he started rummaging through his bag.

I pushed myself off the bed to find some pajamas. "Oh yes, more than just 'nice', but only because I like you so much."

"Just like?"

I looked over my shoulder and nearly laughed at his fake disappointment. "A lot more than like. You know that." I turned my attention back to the clothes in the dresser drawer I was searching through.

Seconds later, I felt his arms slide around my waist and he nuzzled my neck. The scent of his aftershave hit me like a tsunami. I wasn't complaining. "How much would you say is 'a lot'?" he asked.

I suppressed a shudder and continued searching for something to sleep in. "Let's just put it this way: 'A lot' in this case is somewhat infinite."

"Somewhat?"

"You know what I mean." I giggled. "You're making it to where I can't think coherently." I felt him smile against my neck.

"Then my job is done," he breathed. Then he removed his arms from around my waist.

I closed my eyes and deeply exhaled. It was still amazing what he could do to me in just a matter of minutes. I found some shorts and an old t-shirt and quickly changed into them.

I then joined Dimitri on the bed, molding my body against his side. His put his arms back around me and rested his head on top of mine. It didn't take too long after that for me to fall asleep, all worries leaving my mind. At least temporarily.

---

**A/N: **Again, not the most exciting chapter, but I do promise everything will pick up soon. In the meantime, review. I'd love to know what everyone's thinking and, despite having the storyline laid out in my head, suggestions are definitely welcome. :D

As for characterizing Tasha, I'm not about to make her insane like The Joker and wreak havoc. We just don't know a lot about her, so who's to say she doesn't have a bad temper that makes her throw balls of fire at whoever's near?


	4. Author's Note

Dearest Readers,

I know that it's been _months _since I've updated anything of mine, and I am extremely sorry about that. My schedule has been hectic though. I have three AP courses: English Literature, Spanish Language, and Chemistry. I spend most of my time studying and working on projects, presentations, and papers. And that's leaving out pre-cal (mind you, I suck at math), art, and creative writing. And the ACT and SAT. And extracurricular activities, like drama club and National Spanish Honors Society. Too many things to name. So when I actually get online, I'm usually on mobile.

Winter break starts next Wednesday for me, and I'll be out of school for two weeks. During that time I should be able to update a couple times. I may even get around to rewriting RHI like I've been wanting to for a while…I've noticed several mistakes when rereading it, and they're bugging the hell out of me. But I'm torn among rewriting before I finish it, rewriting after I post the sequel, or rewriting before I post the sequel. Thoughts? As for Heartache, Lights Camera Action, and It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas…I may rewrite them too. To better pace them, add more details, make my characterization better…

Oh! So how about _Last Sacrifice_? Pretty great, huh? And I never got around to rambling about _Spirit Bound _because of my hellacious schedule. But I will say this…SB left me hating the ship of AdrianxRose, wanting to knock Dimitri senseless, and honestly wish something horrible upon Lissa. Then again, I didn't like her from the beginning, so whatever. The final chapter wasn't exactly what I hoped it would be, but it was great nonetheless. But I'm exceptionally curious as to who the spin-off will be about. And I want to know what happens to the guy who Rose didn't choose and what happens to the murderer and their accomplice. Or accessory, whatever the correct term is. And the new monarch? How's that reign going to go? And I wonder about that hunting trip…Hmm… Ugh, I have _so _many questions. Well, and I have a couple ideas too, but I'm shoving them away until I finish what I have right now. And what all else I have planned. So it'll, possibly, be a while before my theories are uploaded. Written, however, is a completely different story.

I hope you all haven't lost interest in my stories, because I've got huge plans for them still. Even if the periods between updates appear agonizingly long. I assure you, they'll be worth it… Though I am curious: Where do you think I'm even going with my story or stories (whichever one(s) you're reading)?

Hope to hear from you all soon. (Considering I did as a couple questions, and it'd be helpful to me if at least a few people answered them) :D

Best wishes,

Emily (emiz.12)

P.S. I also apologize if I didn't make a whole lot of sense either. I've been rundown the past couple weeks from working for the school play—and going to cast parties—and the weather, so I've caught a cold. Damn my luck.


	5. Chapter 4

_I found myself sitting on a beach. Suspicious, I looked down and, sure enough, I was wearing a red bikini top and jean shorts—short shorts, in fact. _

_I groaned when I heard someone say 'little dhampir' from behind me, confirming my unfortunate thoughts._

"_What, you're not happy to see me?" Adrian mused as he sat down next to me._

_I shot him a sidelong glance. "No. I'd much rather be able to sleep."_

_He laughed. "How many times do I have to tell you? You _are _asleep."_

"_Yeah," I muttered, "but this ranks up there with some of the nightmares I've had."_

"_I highly doubt that," he said. _

"_You're right." I stared at a random crab that was scurrying around a tide pool. "This is much worse."_

_We sat in silence, other than the sound of the tide crashing against the shore for a few moments. It surprised me that Adrian wasn't trying to say something every few seconds, but I accepted his lack of words gladly. Really, it probably saved me from waking up with a headache._

_I stretched out my legs and leaned back, using my elbows to support my weight. "So, what brings you to stalking my dreams tonight?"_

_He let out a sigh. "Is it such a crime that I wanted to see how you were doing? I haven't seen you in days."_

"_It's not like I've been back for a week…" I frowned. "I've only left my room to visit Mason and get something to eat. Both against my will, mind."_

"_Why against your will?" he asked._

"_Because—" I shook my head quickly as if to clear it. "No matter how much sleep I get, I still feel exhausted. And I still feel like everything that happened in Spokane is my fault…That's despite how many times Dimitri tells me that it's not."_

"_You should listen to him." Adrian placed his hand on my shoulder. "It's not your fault, no matter your original role. You ended up saving four lives, including your own, and you killed Strigoi. If you ask me that exceeds any fault on your behalf."_

_Why couldn't anyone just say that it was my fault and be done with it? Better yet, why am I surrounded by such modest people? And why did they always seem to be teaching me lessons?_

_I opted to glare at Adrian's hand on my shoulder. "If you know what's best for you, you'll take your hand off my shoulder." _

_His hand lingered for a moment, but he dropped it back to his side. "Apart what you've just told me, how are you doing?"_

"_Overwhelmed," I replied without thinking. I contemplated over whether or not I could be completely honest with Adrian. I knew I could trust him since he had kept my relationship with Dimitri a secret so far, but I wasn't the type to blurt out exactly what I was feeling, contrary to my impulsive nature. I let out a sigh. "It's amazing I haven't slammed my head into the wall yet—"_

"_Belikov would prevent that even if you tried."_

_I ignored his comment and continued, "So much has happened in the past few days. I was held captive in a basement, my inability to keep a secret led to others' suffering, I made my first kills…I think I broke Mason's heart. Dimitri and Tasha's friendship is shot to hell and he has this repulsive burn on his arm now…I'm causing so much trouble."_

_There was a lapse in silence, so I turned to look at Adrian. He was staring at me intently as if trying to structure a comment perfectly. My outbursts weren't that unexpected were they? Sure they were uncommon for me, but I think with everything I've been through lately, I deserve to vent. That should come as no surprise to anyone._

"_Why are you telling me all this?"_

_I blinked, trying my best not to gape at him. "Are you really asking that? You annoy the hell out of me, but I just feel I can trust you." For a brief moment, he grinned, but it was gone all too quickly and replaced by a serious expression. It was so uncharacteristic of him; I would much rather face the flirtatious, annoying Adrian than this serious one. I frowned and asked, "What?"_

_He shook his head. "I really think you're just being hard on yourself. None of what happened is your fault—"_

"_All of this started when I told Mason where the Strigoi had been tracked down! Dimitri trusted me with that information, and look at what happened. I let my emotions get the better of me. How can you sit there and tell me it's not my fault? How can Dimitri even stand to be in the same room as me for betraying his trust?"_

"_Because it wasn't your choice for them to go to Spokane. They chose to go. Why can you not—" Adrian shook his head again. I was going to ask what made him shut up but thought better of it. He sighed. "Just think about it. Everyone was more worried about harm being done to you five, not that you disobeyed any orders."_

_I grimaced. "No, I'm sure they were more worried about Christian and Mia. They wouldn't have done anything if it were just Eddie, Mason, and me. They come first."_

_Adrian rolled his eyes. "Not everyone was like that. I've never seen a grown man, let alone a guardian, panic more than Belikov when word got out you were missing. And I never thought I'd see the day I saw any emotion on Janine Hathaway's face…And Lissa—"_

"_I know how she felt. I saw how they felt when I could check in," I snapped. "No one would have gone through that if I knew when to shut up."_

_He exhaled, lying back in the sand. His sudden resignation was like a slap in the face. Was I actually being unreasonable to the point where Adrian would give up?_

_He must have sensed my mood change because he gave me a small smile. I returned the small and lay back as well. A question lingered in my mind and I just couldn't help myself. "How long do you think you're staying at the academy?"_

_I heard him grunt, and after a few seconds, saw him now lying on his side facing me. "As long as it takes. I could stay until the end of the year."_

_I rolled my eyes. "Well, doesn't that just make my day? How am I going to put up with you for the next several months?"_

_He threw his hand over his heart and rolled onto his back again. "You're killing me, little dhampir. I'm not that bad am I?"_

_I laughed, now turning on my side to face him. "You're not the worst…I mean, there are Strigoi…"_

_He mock-glared at me, but then he looked down at a watch I hadn't noticed before. He let out a sigh. "As much as I'd love to stay and chat, I need some sleep of my own. I'll see you at breakfast."_

_Before I could reply, his dream faded away and I returned to oblivion._

Later I slowly opened my eyes to meet the brown ones I loved so much gazing down at me. "I could get used to waking up like this," I breathed.

Dimitri rolled his eyes, but he still smiled. "You've already slept through the alarm clock and I was generous enough to let you sleep an extra ten minutes, but you really have to get up now."

"But I like it here," I whined.

"Get up now. Or I'll make you get up," he said sternly.

I smirked. "You just made it that much easier for me to stay where I am."

"Rose." His eyes narrowed. "Get. Up. Now. Or so help me..." I just stared expectantly at him. He mumbled something in Russian right before he rolled me off the bed.

I landed on the floor with a loud thud. I lay there for a moment, glaring at the ceiling. And then he had the audacity to peer over the side of the bed. So I decided to flip him off. At which he laughed a boisterous laugh. The sound wrapped around me like a soft caress.

Just like that my anger dissipated and I was smiling. "You're in a good mood today," I mused.

He smiled one of those beautiful, rare smiles. "Why wouldn't I be in a good mood?"

I tried to shrug, but lying on the floor made it look like an odd shoulder gesture I'm sure. "Well, you pushed me off the bed. That's not really my ideal way to wake up." I forced myself to frown. "I had a much, _much _nicer way in mind."

"If we weren't short on time, maybe I'd consider it."

I quickly sat up, despite my back's protests, and looked at him the best I could. "Really?"

"No," he replied with a shake of his head. "Now get up and start getting ready. _Before _I get your mother in here."

I snorted. "Who do you think she'll be angrier at if you do? Me for taking forever to get up? Or _you _for being in my bed half-naked?"

"Rose, just get ready." His tone had finality to it, and I knew better than anyone to not argue with him when he was like this.

And so I did. I took my usual shower, reluctantly changed into the dark jeans and black sweater Dimitri picked out, bickered with him about his choice in clothes, and finally got around to fixing my hair.

I was sitting on my bed, trying my best to not throw my shoes across the room. Dimitri had also picked them out, and they just so happened to be flats I'd never worn before. And I hadn't worn them for good reason_s_. One: I never had a chance to wear them since I spent most of my time training. Two: They didn't go with clothes I wore for training. Three: Flats hurt like hell the first few times I wore them. So flats, along with any shoe that didn't have laces, resided in the back of my closet, collecting dust.

Dimitri returned to my room the moment I slid one flat off. Despite his new confidence in me being stable enough to last a few minutes alone, I was still frustrated about his choice in clothes and shoes. I took advantage of him being caught off guard and threw the flat at his face. Well, I _aimed_ for his face anyway.

He was more alert than I gave him credit. He caught the shoe in one hand while typing something on his phone with the other. "You do realize that shoes go on your feet, right? This is no substitute for a ball," he said as he waved the flat a few times.

I rolled my eyes. "It wouldn't be such an issue if I could have chosen what I was wearing."

"You would have chosen something too casual or too inappropriate." He was still doing something on his phone as he spoke. "What I chose is a feasible replacement to formal guardian attire until you graduate."

I would have made a comment, but then I noticed he was wearing a clean cut suit. I had seen him in the typical guardian attire for formal events, but I hadn't grown used to it. I usually saw him in loose sweats and t-shirts for training or jeans, a t-shirt, and that damn duster. His hair was usually hastily pulled back, but now it looked like he actually took time to fix it.

I grinned. "No need to get all dressed up for me, comrade."

He coolly raised an eyebrow as he shut his phone. "Don't even start, Rose."

I rolled my eyes at his determination to avoid physical contact. As if missing a few minutes of breakfast would really affect me. I decided not to argue…_verbally_. I simply decided to do various things with my hair to get his attention. It was a shallow tactic on my behalf, but why not use what I know to my advantage?

And oh how I knew he loved my hair. His infatuation was evident long before the lust charm. He had absently twirled my hair around his finger on more than one occasion. He'd even told me not to cut my hair like nearly every female guardian decided to do so that their marks could be seen easily; instead, he insisted I wore it up.

I pointedly ignored his reactions and kept my eyes focused on the door of my dorm. I had just leaned forward, allowing every strand of hair to fall in front of my face and shoulders, when I was tackled and ended up with my back against my recently made bed. My hair sprawled out around my head, only a few strands lingering in my face.

I stared up at Dimitri. His eyes were probing, his face etched in frustration. As per usual, I had no control and found myself grinning cockily. "Is there a problem?" I breathed.

His lips were pressed together in a thin line, but I heard the growl muffle in the back of his throat. It was obvious he was fighting for self-control. Should he follow through with his own desires? Or should he listen to his duty?

Of course, the latter won out.

Dimitri placed a chaste kiss on my lips before slowly, almost reluctantly, crawling off me and the bed altogether. He then extended his hand to me and I took it. He pulled me up into a standing position, ignoring the not-so-nice comments I was mumbling about taking things too seriously. I would have said I wasn't hungry, but my stomach had a mind of its own and growled. This made him laugh again before he dragged me out of the dorm.

We made our way to the commons. The atmosphere around us had changed. It was the day I would be getting my two _molnija _marks. I would still be a novice, but I'd officially be set apart from the others in just a few hours.

Honestly…I wasn't looking forward to it. I was glad to have killed Strigoi, but as Dimitri told me so many times I've lost count, I was still taking a life in a way. Strigoi were Moroi, dhampir, or human at some point in time and they lose their souls when they're turned—by will or by force. Not only did I take two lives, but also I put the lives of my friends at risk. The pain, the suffering, the trauma…all could have been prevented if I had just kept my mouth shut.

I don't know when I got there, but I found myself sitting at the usual table across from Lissa and Christian. We three just sat there in silence, waiting for someone to say something…Only none of us would. Not until Dimitri set a tray full of eggs, bacon, and toast and a bottle of water in front of me. I expected him to sit next to me, but he didn't.

I looked up at him, frowning. "What, you're not acting as babysitter anymore?"

"Not at the moment," he replied. "I have a meeting with Guardian Petrov in just a few minutes."

I scoffed. He could have mentioned that earlier. "No breakfast?"

He rolled his eyes, and then he raised one hand, waving a donut back and forth a few times. "I think I'll survive."

_I'll trade you breakfasts_, I added silently in my head. A donut sounded a lot more appetizing than the school's food, but Dimitri probably wouldn't listen to my complaint. So I relied on my irritation for him not telling me about the meeting. "Fine. Have fun," I muttered sarcastically.

He nodded once before turning on his heel and exiting the commons. I didn't know until that moment how much I've come to rely on Dimitri in the last day or so. He and Adrian both had knocked some sense into me. A very small amount of sense but sense nonetheless. I still blamed myself without a doubt, but the others made their decisions too.

Damn, the things I'd do for a time machine.

"Hathaway!"

My head shot up and I looked around to see who had shouted at me, but it didn't really occur to me that it had been Christian. Good ole sardonic, pain in my ass Christian Ozera.

I dropped my fork on my tray—as if I were eating anyway—and glared in his direction. With everything we've been through in the last few days, he certainly didn't deserve to be the target of my mood swings, but recent events were an afterthought. My mind was more set on getting my marks.

Lissa frowned at me. "Rose, are you okay?"

"Never better," I replied, sarcasm dripping off each syllable. I never have been hostile toward Lissa, but it was on autopilot. I had snapped at her before I could control myself. I sighed. "Liss, I—"

"No, it's fine. I know you can't think straight. I understand."

I tried to see what she was thinking about through the bond, but it was like she was blocking me out. I frowned. "Is there something wrong?"

My question brought Christian out of whatever haze he was in and he turned to face her. Concern etched in his face.

Lissa shook her head. "I think the bond is getting stronger."

"What makes you say that?" I asked. "I haven't noticed anything."

"I'm talking about for me!" _Shit._ "I've been able to feel your emotions since I woke up this morning…" _Double shit. _"…and I think I tapped into your thoughts…" _Shit, shit, shit._

"What'd you hear? Crickets?" Christian asked monotonously.

I sighed in frustration as I flipped him off. It was not the time for his snarky comments. I then turned to Lissa. "Really, what did you find out?"

She averted her eyes to the half-eaten granola bar in front of her. "Your thoughts were pretty explicit," she mumbled. _Oh fucking hell. _"I can_not_ believe you."

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. "What'd I do?"

"Christian, do you think you could get me some water?" she asked him. He nodded and left, muttering something about being 'unwanted.' Lissa waited until he was in the line to finally look at me. "I understand Guardian Belikov is good looking and you two get along really well, but you shouldn't be lusting after him."

I felt my cheeks heat up. I'd forgotten what I was dreaming about after Adrian left, but now that she had mentioned it…I'd been dreaming about the night of the lust charm, minus the issue over Lissa being kidnapped. Dimitri was lucky I didn't jump his bones first thing that morning…

"Rose? Hello?" Lissa hummed. "Could you try not to think about that? I do not want to see that; he's my guardian, not eye candy…" _Or so she thinks_, I thought. She rolled her eyes but otherwise didn't acknowledge my thoughts. "We really need to talk about this."

"What? The fact that I'm a hormonal-driven teenager?"

"No. I'm talking about the fact that he's your mentor and he's seven years _older _than you. He couldn't possibly be interested in you in that way. Why don't you stick to dating Mason? Or even Adrian?"

I scoffed. "One, I can only see Mason as a friend. Why bother if I know it's not right? Two, I can't stand Adrian—" which wasn't a total lie "—and he's four or five years older than me. Three, you'd be surprised with what Dimitri thinks and feels. He's not the emotionless, completely-devoted-to-work guardian everyone makes him out to be. I mean, he recently promised he wouldn't—" I cut myself off. It's not that I didn't want to tell Lissa, but we could easily be overheard. I couldn't take the risk.

"What did he promise, Rose?" I shook my head, not willing to tell her for the time being…and that just pissed her off. "Is it really that big of a deal? And don't you think I have a right to know? He's _my _guardian. You're _my _best friend and future guardian. Just tell me!"

"It doesn't involve you!" I seethed, clenching my hands into fists. "You don't _own _us. We can keep things to ourselves if we want. Things you don't always have to know."

"Why start to bring it up and not finish telling me then?"

"I've _kind of _had a rough few days. _Excuse me_ for not keeping myself in check," I snapped.

Before she could say anything else, I jumped out of my seat and stormed out of the commons. I was trying to avoid anyone overhearing what I _would _have told Lissa, especially since our small argument had attracted so much attention by other students and even the guardians on duty. But with that little episode, I wasn't sure if I could tell her. At least not for a while…hence why I mentally blocked her out. Or trying to at least.

"Rose?"

Dammit to hell.

I slowly turned on my heel in the direction of the voice. Who else but my mother would be able to find me when I was tempted to rip someone's head off?

My shoulders sagged in defeat as she approached me. If I hadn't dealt with so much in the past few days, I probably would have just ignored her, but…who else would I talk to? Dimitri was in a meeting. Lissa was pissed at me. Christian would side with Lissa. Mason…ugh. And Adrian was probably already drunk. Ironically—maybe even miraculously—enough, my mother happened to me the only available one who I wasn't all too furious with.

In the few times I actually got to see my mother, especially away from a crowd, I'd never really seen much emotion from her. This encounter was completely new to me. She was wearing the same formal guardian attire as Dimitri and other guardians I seen throughout the day, but her facial expression was what shocked me. Her eyebrows were furrowed, and she was frowning.

"Mom?"

She came to a halt a few feet before me, indecision now evident in her features. There was a stretch of awkward silence that followed.

See, my mother and I had no idea how to have a mother/daughter heart-to-heart conversation. I'd only seen her a few times before in my life, which clearly limited how often we spoke to one another, and we knew very little about each other. The last time we had a conversation I ended up on the roof of the ski lodge without a coat, had an actual heart-to-heart with Dimitri, and wound up chasing after three classmates with a fire using Moroi as my accomplice. Or was he an accessory? Whatever, that doesn't matter. The time before that I ended up sporting a black eye for Christmas.

Needless to say, our conversations never really end too well…unless you count how close Dimitri and I have become after our most recent spat. _I _include that little detail—he may too—but no one else would ever consider it. To the uninformed eye—meaning everyone except me, Dimitri, and Adrian (and Victor Dashkov, technically)—he was taking on the role of the protective older brother. The thought made me cringe.

My mother took in my appearance, a new, almost mysterious expression. It left me a little confused as to why she even bothered to talk to me. I was sure she'd be leaving soon after I got my marks. She couldn't stay away from her charge for long.

"Mom?" I repeated. "What are you doing?"

My talking to her must have brought her back to reality, because her stoic mask almost immediately reappeared. "I was just looking for you. Your ceremony is soon."

I slowly nodded. "Oh, right."

She took in my appearance once more. "You look nice. I was worried you would have picked out something inappropriate."

I quickly decided to not mention Dimitri was the one who chose what I'd be wearing, not sure how she'd react to my mentor going through my things and all that. I grimaced. "Do you have any faith in me?"

The slight twitch at the corners of her mouth were the indication that she was allowing this conversation to be light. "Of course I do, but I'm just a little surprised to see—" She shook her head. "We need to get going, Rose."

And so we did. My mother would say words of encouragement every once in a while, but we were silent other than that.

As soon as we entered the guardian building, my mother made her way over to Alberta, leaving me by the door. I almost felt like a lost puppy by that point. Most of the guardians weren't my biggest fans, so I hadn't the slightest idea how to make conversation with them. And I couldn't find Dimitri amongst the other guardians of the academy—and those who had been visiting. He had to be somewhere nearby though. After all, he just had a meeting with Alberta.

"It's not good to be so on edge."

I flinched at the voice that came from behind me. I turned around quickly, coming face to face with Stan Alto, my, more or less, least favorite teacher. Ever.

"I'm fine," I said. Though my bravado was transparent. My voice cracked as I spoke.

Stan raised an eyebrow, not in a mocking manner. For once. But it was obvious he didn't believe me. "Tension will only make getting the marks more painful."

"It's not like I want to be like this." I scowled. "But it's not so easy calming down after the past few days I've had."

Surprisingly, his face softened –but only just a little. "Which is understandable." He briefly paused. "Just try to calm down, even just a little. It will make it a lot easier to sit through the ceremony. Especially for two marks."

To be perfectly honest I was a little freaked out that it had been Stan, of all people, to be the one giving me advice on how to make it through getting my first marks, but I did my best to shake it off. "Thanks, St—Guardian Alto."

He nodded and then walked off.

After that it didn't take long for the ceremony to start, but I honestly didn't even bother listening to what was being said—even though I should have. I was more focused on what happened back in Spokane. Dimitri's pride had been one motivation for me to push through and kill Isaiah and Elena, and that's one thing I wanted to know I had an effect on before I got my marks. It was selfish—incredibly so—but it's all I really had to go on. At least knowing I hadn't let him down was one good thing that came out of the mess made in the last few days.

Just as I was about to sit down in the chair to receive my marks, I scanned over the guardians in the room, and I finally spotted Dimitri. He stood nearby, facial expression anything but stoic. He smiled a small smile of encouragement, and there was a glint in his eyes that I could only assume was pride. The one emotion from him I knew would help me finally get through this ceremony.

Well that and the little trick he told me.

I sat down backwards in the chair and leaned forward, moving my hair out of the way. Almost immediately the tattoo artist protested about working with a blank canvas. It was rare, practically unheard of, for a novice to be receiving _molnija _marks. There was some muttering after that, but it didn't take long to feel the needle touch the back of my neck. And it wasn't a pleasant feeling. It stung and was exceptionally uncomfortable.

I did my best to think back to the night of the lust charm, but it was a lot more difficult than I thought it'd be. Occasionally I'd be able to successfully remember how Dimitri treated me that night. The feel of his lips on my skin. Him whispering 'Roza' repeatedly. It was nice.

Until the tattoo artist brushed the towel against the back of my neck one last time and began giving me instructions on how to treat the tattoos. I tuned in and out, positive I could just ask Dimitri for help if I forgot what to do.

Then it was time for the guardians to line up and offer any words. Alberta was first, and she hugged me, murmuring she had great expectations for me. Then it was my mother, who also hugged me but said nothing. Third was Dimitri. He simply caressed my cheek, giving me a look that said we'd be talking later. And the guardians continued coming. They'd place a hand on my shoulder or hug me and say something polite, but not once was I congratulated. For which I was thankful, and I was sure they knew congratulations were the last thing I wanted for what I had done.

The ceremony was soon formally dismissed. Guardians left to go to their shifts or their classrooms or just somewhere else. Very few stayed back. I looked around and noticed my mother wasn't around. I frowned at that, hoping I'd see her before she left.

I felt a warm hand on the small of my back. "Let's go rest for a little while," they whispered in my ear.

I smiled at Dimitri's soothing voice and fought the urge to publically display affection. It was a feat, believe me, but I was successful. "Rest sounds nice."

He let out a breathless chuckle as he guided me out the guardian building and across campus. We were in one of those comfortable silences of ours, one where we didn't even have to interact to know what the other was thinking or feeling. We were completely at ease for once. No one was around, thanks to classes resuming, therefore there was no one around to see what we were doing. I was hoping for the day we could act like a couple when others actually were around, but this would have to suffice for a few more months.

We entered the novice dorm building, also finding it empty. Not even a dorm matron was around. I took the chance to grab Dimitri's hand that had ended back at his side sometime during our walk. Joy ran through me when he didn't let go. I guess he saw no risk in holding hands with no one around.

We rounded the corner on the second floor, and I immediately tugged on Dimitri's hand as I stopped in the middle of the hallway. Dimitri did the same, only a few steps ahead, and, confused and concerned, turned to look at me. "Is something wrong?"

"Not at all," I replied. "Just the opposite actually."

"Then wh—" He eyed me skeptically, and his gaze hardened when I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Rose, someone could walk by."

"What are the chances of that during a school day?" I asked, even though I knew novices were notorious for skipping class to hang out in their dorm. "We've got time to do _whatever_ we want."

It was as if he was at war with himself. To fight temptation or to give into temptation?

The latter, _finally_, won out. He abruptly turned, pushing me against the wall and caging me in with his arms. "The things you do to me, Roza." And with that, his lips ferociously attacked mine. Neither of us held back. We'd wanted this for so long, and we finally had the chance to be alone and not get caught.

I tightly wrapped my legs around Dimitri as he carried me a little further down the hall and fumbled with his keys, all the while keeping his lips attached to mine. He finally unlocked the door to my dorm and stumbled in, kicking it the door with his foot.

I was so, so glad to finally not have to worry about the consequences of having a relationship with Dimitri, even if it was for just a short amount of time. It was more than we'd ever had before.

But at the same time, I had this nagging feeling that _someone_ had seen the beginning of our escapade, and I didn't know who it was—if anyone actually saw us, that is.

…

**A/N: **So I finally decided to update. It's a miracle! I've had the majority of it done for a while, but school got the best of me and prevented me from writing. I'm really sorry.  
Anyway…uh oh! Did someone see Rose and Dimitri? If so, who?  
Tell me what you think. And be brutally honest, did the chapter suck? It was pretty difficult to tie in what getting a tattoo feels like, given the fact that I don't have any. Characterization may be off _again_, but I actually did kind of rush some of this. So I apologize.  
Review, por favor!


	6. Author's Note II

To my fantastic readers,

I honestly hope this will be my last author's note for a while. I can't promise anything, judging by my schedule for the next few months, however.

I wish I had the time to update regularly like I did when I first started some of my stories, but at the moment, I really don't. I only have a little over a month left of high school, and I hardly will be spending my time working on my fanfictions. I have a major project to work on for my English Literature class. (Speaking of, if any of you have read _The Picture of Dorian Gray_, please tell me what you think. That novel and Oscar Wilde are a huge part of that project, and I'd really like to know what others thing about the book.) I also have a huge project in Spanish Language that will limit my time being at home. On top of all that, I have three AP exams during the first week of May. I also will be scheduling for classes at college on April 30th.

As I said, there is a little over one month left in high school for me. I want to make that time count for something, especially since several of my friends are going away for college. Like I am. And despite my writing is a huge part of my life, I feel that my friendships are more important right now.

I will still be working on my stories here and there, but an update before June is highly unlikely. Of course, I also have plans for this summer already, but I know that I'll have enough time to update then.

Rumor Has It will be my main priority, because I truly want that to be completed and have the sequel started before I even move in to my dorm in late August. I'd also like to point out that a recent review of RHI has given me a better idea for what is going to happen from the battle on. And I'd like to thank them in advance…even though it won't be obvious until probably two updates from now. Heartache will be my second priority. Right now the chapter that I'm working on is in someone else's point of view. Someone else as in the person who may or may not have walked in on Rose and Dimitri. The third priority will be Lights, Camera, Action!...simply because I _love _the ideas that I have for it. (That and I am totally in love with anything related to Hollywood) And it will be ten chapters maximum. Deadly Little Secrets and It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas are fourth and fifth. I love the ideas I have for the both of them as well, but a lot of my phrasing is off for both. So their updates are going to be exceptionally tedious.

I know you all must hate me for how little I've updated, but my senior year of high school has been hectic. And I have no idea what exactly to expect during my freshman year of college. And I'm sure my apologies are getting old and annoying right now, but I don't know what else I can do. Though I now know not to take on so many stories at once.

For those who have not given up home, I'd like to thank you and appreciate your loyalty. If that's what you can call it. If it were possible, I'd seriously send out a VA character of your choice.…Other than Dimitri. ;]

Until next time,

Emily (emiz.12)


	7. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **Not once for this story have I done one of these, but I think it's time to do so. I do not own Vampire Academy nor any of its characters. The only thing I do own is this storyline.

* * *

_I think it's best that we just stay friends and nothing more._

_I just don't have romantic feelings for you._

Her words haunted me. No matter how troubled she sounded it took her no time to return to being a heartbreaker. No time to end whatever progress our relationship made in the past week or so. No time at all. We hadn't even been out of that house that long.

But I should have seen it coming. She never cared for me. Not in the way I cared for her. She only saw me as her friend and nothing more. And no matter what she said, I couldn't help but think I _had_ been doing something wrong. If what I was doing was right, why couldn't she return my feelings? What more could I do?

It seemed that I _never_ won. Rose became the top novice shortly after her return. She had Dimitri Belikov, one of the best guardians, as her mentor, and he had taken on the role of her best friend, a friendship different than she shared with the Dragomir princess though, seeing as how they spent so much time together, and he was the only one she trusted enough to help her through her recovery. Adrian Ivashkov was making better progress romantically with Rose than I ever had in the short week they'd known each other. Not to mention he was rich. He was handsome. _And _he could give her a family later on. I had to fight for the attention, even from my closest friends, because there was always someone there to outshine me, Mason Ashford.

I wasn't sure how I could change that either, because it was repetitive. A running gag in my life.

The door opening pulled me out of my inner ramblings. In walked Doctor Olendzki, clipboard in hand, and she approached me wearing a small smile. "It's good to see you're up, Mason. How are you feeling?"

_Other than my heart being broken? _I thought ruefully. I doubt she wanted to hear about high school drama. "My head's only down to a dull ache. That's got to be something, right?"

"Indeed it is." She wrote down something before continuing. "Have you been experiencing vertigo? Anxiety? Signs of depression?"

I'd gone through this a few times in the past several hours, and I was beginning to feel a tinge of annoyance. "I _am_ irritable."

She nodded, writing down something again. "Anything else?"

"Not that I can think of."

"Well then…" she hummed as she looked over the charts. "Once I fill out the release forms, you will be able to jump back into your student career. _With _a few limitations," she added just as I opened my mouth to speak.

"Limitations?"

She nodded once more, not bothering to look up at me. "You took a nasty hit, obviously, and that concussion will cause some side effects for a little while. I'd say it's a safe bet for you to not take part in combat for the next couple weeks."

"What about the field experience?" I asked, making sure I didn't raise my voice. "I need to pass that to take part in the trials."

"You should be cleared in time for the field experience. Don't worry about that. "

"Are you sure?"

She finally looked at me and laughed. "Positive. "

"How long should the release forms take?"

"What's the rush?" Doctor Olendzki raised an eyebrow. "It should only be a few minutes. You'll be free to attend classes, though not take part in extreme physical activity." She glanced at the clock on the wall. "Luckily you'll be out of here in time for breakfast."

It didn't take long for Doctor Olendzki to fill out the papers, and I soon found myself walking across campus toward the commons. Albeit I really didn't want to. Not if there was a chance to run into _her_. I needed time to think, to make sure I wouldn't be irrational toward her. Yet I hadn't seen anyone else in days. I owed them that much, to let them know I was walking on my own and not hooked up to IVs anymore.

I walked into the cafeteria, expecting it to be in its usual atmosphere, where everyone was gossiping about someone or some party in the near future.

How wrong I was. I probably showed up at one of the worst times possible.

Majority of the commons was speaking in hushed tones while two voices kept rising with each word spoken. The princess and Rose were arguing—something that no one had really seen before—and if their facial expressions were anything to go by, their conversation was getting nasty. _Fast_.

"One, I can only see Mason as a friend. Why bother if I know it's not right?" I flinched. That felt like a low blow, and I wasn't even taking part in this conversation. "Two, I can't stand Adrian, and he's four or five years older than me." So she didn't like Ivashkov? That was almost a relief. "Three, you'd be surprised with what Dimitri thinks and feels. He's not the emotionless, completely-devoted-to-work guardian everyone makes him out to be. I mean, he recently promised he wouldn't—" Rose abruptly stopped, a pained look beginning to make an appearance.

I wondered what that was about.

"What did he promise, Rose?" At this, Rose shook her head, and she almost looked…uncomfortable? Her response only seemed to upset the princess further. "Is it really that big of a deal? And don't you think I have a right to know? He's _my _guardian. You're _my _best friend and future guardian. Just tell me!"

"It doesn't involve you!" The venom in Rose's voice surprised me. "You don't _own _us. We can keep things to ourselves if we want. Things you don't always have to know." _Oh_. So this was turning into a bout over freedom?

"Why start to bring it up and not finish telling me then?"

"I've _kind of _had a rough few days. _Excuse me_ for not keeping myself in check!"

Rose didn't even give Lissa a chance to respond; she got up and stormed out of the commons. She didn't acknowledge me when she walked by, but I couldn't necessarily blame her for that. Of all people I never expected Vasilisa Dragomir to be so conceited and not be compassionate over what little freedom we dhampirs had, especially her best friend's. And I was wondering how this would affect the next few days.

"I was _not _expecting that."

At the sound of the new voice, I jumped. I hadn't expected anyone to be standing next to me. I turned to see Adrian Ivashkov standing there, staring at Princess Vasilisa, who was now being consoled by Christian Ozera.

"What were you expecting?" I asked a little haughtily.

Adrian frowned as he contemplated his answer. It was weird seeing him like that. At the ski lodge it was like he didn't care to filter his word choice, especially when it came to Rose.

"I thought Vasilisa would take the news exceptionally well." Adrian shook his head. "Not _that_."

"Take what well?" I frowned.

"Why she ended things with you," he said slowly.

"Why would you know?" I all but seethed. "She hasn't told me anything about why."

"I figured it out and asked her," he replied calmly. "Something tells me Vasilisa doesn't know the whole story just yet or she might not have reacted the way she did."

"_Why _did Rose—"

"Y'know, they say patience is a virtue," he hummed. "Right now, it'd be a blessing. Respect Rose and _wait _for her to tell you."

"I still don't understand why she told you before she told Lissa. They've been best friends for years. She hasn't told me, and it _involves _me. _And _I've known her for years. Why the hell do you know? You've known her a week!"

"Like I said, I figured it out. Every piece of evidence was right under my nose." He looked deep in thought for a moment before looking me in the eye. "But give Rose some time. She's having a tough time coping with everything that has gone on."

He was right, but I wasn't going to give him that satisfaction. Instead of replying, I walked away from him. I needed to be around someone sane, and that certainly was _not _Adrian Ivashkov. I joined Eddie and Mia. I hadn't seen either of them since the flight back to the academy, and I hardly knew how they were.

As soon as I sat down, the two stopped whispering and turned their attention to me. Mia smiled widely, welcoming. Eddie…His smile was sympathetic. Of course he knew. Whether I was angry with her, Rose was a noble person through and through. She couldn't bear not telling Eddie, even if it ruined their friendship.

"Mase, how're you doing?" Eddie asked, breaking the silence.

"As good as I can be."

"About Rose—" he began.

I shook my head. "I'm not ready to talk about it."

He rolled his eyes. "You'll have to talk about it sometime. Sooner rather than later."

Mia nodded in agreement. "I haven't talked to Rose yet, but she seems upset. If you keep acting like a jackass, she could get worse."

"She's shutting people out—"

"No," Eddie interrupted, "she's not. She's doing what's right and in the best interest of _everyone_." He shook his head. "Mase, you should know better than almost anyone that Rose is probably one of the most selfless people out there."

"I just didn't expect it," I muttered.

Mia sighed, abruptly changing the topic. "I'm leaving St. Vladimir's."

Eddie's face fell into a frown as he turned to look at her. "What do you mean?"

"After the attack, my father found a new job at Court, and he wants to be closer to me and not have to worry."

"What about school?"

"There are ways to learn while at Court."

It was then that I noticed some tension between them. I guess they had gotten close over the past couple days, but this news was a speed bump in their friendship. I felt like I was intruding their conversation, though. Over the past couple days Mia had grown closer to all four of us but mostly Eddie.

"I'm going to go get something to eat," I muttered, not completely sure if they were listening to me or not. I got up from my seat and walked away.

On the way to the line, I had to pass the Princess's table. Ozera was still comforting her while Ivashkov studied the both of them. I paid little attention to this.

Until I was on my way back.

Lissa was talking about what had happened, and I couldn't help myself. When I was next to their table I quietly set my tray on the edge of the tabletop and pretended to tie my shoe.

"She's being totally selfish!" There was a brief pause. "I bet the only reason she broke up with Mason was because she believes she has a shot with Guardian Belikov!"

"Liss, I highly doubt—"

"No, Christian, you don't understand," she seethed. "The bond's growing, and her thoughts make it pretty obvious. She's even imagined him giving her a nickname."

"She didn't imagine the nickname, Vasilisa," Adrian said quietly. After another pause, he continued, "Seeing as how they're close, I'm guessing he's crossed some boundaries and become a little biased. _Roza _is probably just her name in Russian, and he probably only uses it when he's giving her exceptional praise. _And_," he added, "his family calls her by the same name as well. She's probably just grown accustomed to it that it means very little as far as her thoughts go."

"Then what about all the—"

"He's the only constant in her life. Or so I'm guessing." There was a frown in his voice, but it went undetected by Christian and Lissa. Their silence stretched on, so I stood up and began making my way back to Eddie and Mia.

"Mason, you can sit with us," the princess said.

While I wanted to sit with Eddie and Mia, I also wanted to know if Lissa would continue talking about Rose. I turned around and took the seat next to Ivashkov. I could ignore my annoyance towards him for a little while.

Lissa smiled at me, though it didn't reach her eyes, and then she looked to Adrian again. "Wouldn't that make the argument over her infatuation of Guardian Belikov more valid in my favor?"

"Possibly," Adrian replied. "But seeing as how he's her mentor, I'm sure their relationship is simply student-teacher. You're probably jumping to conclusions, Vasilisa." He smirked before he took a sip from his water bottle, though it smelled very similar to vodka.

Christian rested his hand on his girlfriend's shoulder. "Liss, let it go."

"Why should I?" she snapped.

"Rose is your best friend."

"Best friends tell each other everything."

Christian raised an eyebrow. "You hide things from Rose all the time, despite the bond."

"Whose side are you on, Christian?"

"Neither," he replied coolly. "I do empathize with Rose, though. She's going through a lot right now, and she doesn't need any added stress. Who _cares _if she has a thing for Belikov?"

I stuffed some food in my mouth, forcing back a grimace. At the same time Adrian took another sip of his water-vodka.

"I just—I want to know what's going on with my best friend. We grow apart each day." She sighed and shoved away her plate.

"Then make the effort to grow closer again. It's not a one-sided effort," Adrian joined in. "_And _it's the least you can do, seeing as how she'll be risking her life for you once you graduate. She deserves a little respect, princess."

A feeling bubbled in my chest, and I quickly took another bite of food. Whatever that feeling was had the potential to be nasty. I had to keep that negativity to myself for a while.

That was how breakfast continued for the next half hour. The princess eventually saw reason in Adrian's suggestion and planned to talk things out with Rose later. And we all went our separate ways.

I had combat for my first class, and given Doctor Olendzki's orders, I learned something about myself: I wasn't a masochist, so I stopped by the gym and told the guardian and novice in charge of the class about the doctor's orders. There were so many things I could do in the hour between then and my second class. Yet the only thing I wanted to do was relax in my room for a while. After spending so long in the infirmary, even a dorm room would cheer me up.

I entered the novice building, finding no one around. It was unusual to not find someone skipping a class or even a dorm matron to make sure no one skipped. Maybe it was because Rose's _molnija _ceremony hadn't let out too long before. Not that that mattered.

And then I heard a laugh. That harmonious laugh I loved so much, followed by her voice. "Not at all. Just the opposite actually."

"Then wh—" That was Guardian Belikov. "Rose, someone could walk by."

"What are the chances of that during a school day?" She knew the answer to that, but it seemed like she wanted to use her own logic. "We've got time to do _whatever _we want."

There was a stabbing pain in my chest. Her tone reminded me of a night back at the ski lodge, except this time she was sober. That was what hurt the most.

I crept up the stairs, careful not to give away my presence. There was a thud, and I stopped. With their advanced hearing surely they would have heard me in their extended silence, if I had moved.

"The things you do to me, Roza," Guardian Belikov let out, his Russian accent thick with lust.

More silence.

This time I continued my way up the stairs and peered around the corner. Rose had her legs wrapped around Belikov's waist, as he blindly searched for the key to her room. Finally successful, they stumbled in, and the door soon shut.

And that was when I went numb. Rose Hathaway had broken my heart beyond repair.

* * *

**A/N: **Hey loves! Long time without any updates, huh? I'm incredibly sorry about that. However, I'm going to do my best to update my stories periodically. I'm only taking thirteen credit hours, and I do work study. I have enough time to fit some leisure writing into my schedule.  
Nevertheless, did you guess correctly? Or did you expect Lissa? Janine? Just someone else? Give me some feedback, please. I'd forever appreciate it. :)


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